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Passions in Poetry

Balladeer's Journey Into the Birds and Bees

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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


0 posted 08-09-99 05:27 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Toerag

I could humbly bow,
To the Poet Balladeer,
But I enter this little war on words,
As usual, with little fear.

Obviously he's a poet,
A poet extraordinaire,
I would never ever try,
To compete with this guy here.

But I know a tale about him,
And so I'll post it now.
About his love for women,
And the way that he learned how.

Two guys and Balladeer one day,
Learning the birds and bees,
Went downtown to learn "the way"
Of the female anatomy.

Though they'd never had the chance,
To explore the ways of sex,
They'd pay to play in one's pants
And see what popped up next.

The sign read: The Mustang Ranch,
A house of ill repute.
So they thought that they would take a chance
And see what they could do.

The sign said we have ladies,
For 10-15 and 20,
The first guy said that maybe,
Ten dollars would be plenty.

He came out smiling wide,
Balladeer asked what she did?
He said that it was wonderful,
And was smiling like a kid.

He said she took some ice cream,
And put it on his meat,
Then she ate off every bit,
And it was so very sweet.

The second fella now excited,
Thought fifteen would be much better,
Went upstairs, then returned,
And told them to the letter;

She took two scoops of ice cream,
and put it way "down there"
Ate it off soon after,
It was wonderful I swear!

Well Balladeer had money,
From writing poetry,
Went upstairs, gave his twenty,
and experienced ecstacy.

He soon came down dilerious,
Why he could hardly speak,
He told them of his story,
Of "love" he'd never dreamed.

He said she took the ice cream,
With whipped cream and cherry fruit,
Put in on his "member"
It covered all his inches "two"

He said he was so excited,
the way it looked and smelled,
Before she could do a single thing
He ate it off himself!!!

[This message has been edited by Toerag (edited 08-09-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


1 posted 08-09-99 05:31 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

Sooo Baaad! haha, you two and words of war!
tori
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


2 posted 08-09-99 05:38 PM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

hahahahaha little lick um's huh? this is great... can't wait for the come back...lol


Thinking in laughter is the best!!
__________________________________________________________________________________________

If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
vlh.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 08-09-99 08:39 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

So, once again, dear Toerag, you've got the whole thing wrong
It wasn't just a scoop or two she placed upon the dong.
She called Baskin-Robbins and, to be sure they would reach,
She got all 57 kinds....and used a scoop of each.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


4 posted 08-09-99 09:16 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

There are wars between the nations
That make us quake with fear
But those battles aren't as fun to watch
As the war that we have here.
Bloodshed, bombs and battle wounds
We poets try to shirk
But we tune in as Toe and 'Deer
Do their awesome work!
Now we're not really taking sides
We cheer for every score
And hope our poetic warriors
Will skirmish still some more!

Toerag: Excellent job! *G* I didn't know Balladeer was such a contortionist! LOL. By the way... I lied. *G* Of course I take sides! LOL.

What Balladeer has failed to state
Is that his flavorful cover
Was provided with those tiny taste spoons
There wasn't room for any other!

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


5 posted 08-09-99 09:33 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Why, Suthern, you've desserted me.
I really feel hurt.
'Cause I'm the only one who can
Give you 'just desserts'.
Lorelei54
Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 486


6 posted 08-09-99 09:38 PM       View Profile for Lorelei54   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lorelei54

Toe and Deer, ya'll are two cards, doing a fab job. Poor old LJA is working too hard and feeling left out...currently he sleeps like a baby..wonder why?
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


7 posted 08-09-99 09:41 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

He's probably gonna wait until we exhaust ourselves and then get up and knock us silly!
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


8 posted 08-09-99 09:45 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

Too terrible to mention!
(my condolences on the 2" Balladeer, but don't worry, it's better than nothing!)

------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.
-Unknown-
So let the sun beat down upon my face,
It's warmth will dry my tears.
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


9 posted 08-10-99 01:56 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

i haven't hear that one in a long time, Toerag
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


10 posted 08-10-99 07:57 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

Balladeer....Beware of LongJohn....yes, he is a dear friend...he may possibly take your side.....but he is very sneaky and clever...I have been caught in his traps quite often...

Elvira...yep....the idea did come from a very old joke.....but it fit so well...since Balladeer's such an old joke.....LOL
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


11 posted 08-10-99 11:50 AM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

You guys are too much but it's a ton of fun.
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


12 posted 08-10-99 12:08 PM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

2 inches is all?
Sounds rather small
But I don't think for Balladeer
I'll shed a tear at all.

Well done Toe!


------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


13 posted 08-10-99 11:38 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, Dragoness, I must confess
Two inches isn't much
But, when well put, it grows a foot.
Sleep well,now. Keep in touch.
aziza
Member Elite
since 07-09-2006
Posts 3000
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!


14 posted 06-08-2007 02:52 AM       View Profile for aziza   Email aziza   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for aziza

This is so damned funny

and you two have been writing these for 8 years????

Yep, you need to put them in a book.

Alison
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


15 posted 11-12-2007 09:02 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
 
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