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Lingering Within
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Lingering Within |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
Lingering within lies a dream. I'm not sure wheather it's yours or mine. It's only a dream. Yet, last night caught with fury was my breath. Against the cool air I could see the life exit as I exhaled. With every breath I began to ponder. I heard your voice say, "I love you," and mine reply, "I love you too." I can recall your eyes wild,scared, and free. And within me the lingering ceased. You were free. Quite knowingly as I exhaled, I remembered once more, so was I. ------------------ To give yourself keeps yourself still, And you must live, drawn by your own sweet skill. -shakespeare And so of you, beauteous and lovely youth, When that shall vade, by verse distills your truth. -shakespeare [This message has been edited by blueloon (edited 08-11-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 blueloon - All Rights Reserved | |||
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
I feel like an idiot for sending this back to the top myself but, I would love some feedback from my fellow poets! Thanks! blueloon |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I always love reading your stuff, but you have to help me with this one...I read it over twice, and it still went over my head...(course, I'm short) LOL It sounds good, but help me know what it's talking about....? ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
Poet- Have you ever taken note of the feelings you feel right after there a break up with someone you have been with for awhile? It seems as if you have dreamt about this moment and the time is finally there and past....Kinda what I was getting at. blueloon |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Fabulously deep - now that you gave me a bit of direction, I read it and see exactly where it goes...really really nice...a bit sad though. (sigh) Thanks for the mental kickstart...it was really late when I read it...brain was already asleep....zzzzz. ------------------ - poet FemmeFatale "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Blue, I read this yesterday, and because I have problems with misspelled words [I am assuming you wanted "furry" to read "fury" [as in 'storm', and not as in 'cat'] I hesitated to respond. There's been so much grief lately over spelling, grammar, etc., and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire. So, before I respond, let me know, am I looking at a kitty, or a storm? ------------------ © KRJ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Blue this was beautiful..... when I read it I got something different then what you described.. read into it that now the cat was out of the bag and the I love you's said that there was disappointment. not in love but in the anticipation of the not knowing, that state though overwhelming and sometimes crazy also brings a naturel high.... the release of it. the exhale.... and yet the freedom of having said it. sometimes brings regret or confusion. ... but that's just me.lol I'm so confused. :-) naturally... |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
Sunshine...Please excuse the misspell...my error (I think we need to add spell check to this forum sometimes) I hope now you will enjoy what I have written...Thank you Poet and tori for your kind words... blueloon |
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