How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #1 Archive
 Lingering Within
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Lingering Within

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


0 posted 08-09-99 02:32 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for blueloon

Lingering within lies a dream.
I'm not sure wheather it's yours or mine.
It's only a dream.

Yet, last night caught with fury was my breath.
Against the cool air I could see the life exit as I exhaled.
With every breath I began to ponder.

I heard your voice say, "I love you,"
and mine reply, "I love you too."
I can recall your eyes wild,scared, and free.
And within me the lingering ceased.

You were free.
Quite knowingly as I exhaled,
I remembered once more, so was I.

------------------
To give yourself keeps yourself still,
And you must live, drawn by your own sweet skill.
-shakespeare
And so of you, beauteous and lovely youth,
When that shall vade, by verse distills your truth.
-shakespeare

[This message has been edited by blueloon (edited 08-11-99).]
© Copyright 1999 blueloon - All Rights Reserved
blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


1 posted 08-10-99 12:22 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

I feel like an idiot for sending this back to the top myself but, I would love some feedback from my fellow poets!
Thanks!
blueloon
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


2 posted 08-10-99 03:24 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

I always love reading your stuff, but you have to help me with this one...I read it over twice, and it still went over my head...(course, I'm short) LOL It sounds good, but help me know what it's talking about....?

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


3 posted 08-11-99 09:53 AM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

Poet- Have you ever taken note of the feelings you feel right after there a break up with someone you have been with for awhile? It seems as if you have dreamt about this moment and the time is finally there and past....Kinda what I was getting at.
blueloon
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


4 posted 08-11-99 09:59 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Fabulously deep - now that you gave me a bit of direction, I read it and see exactly where it goes...really really nice...a bit sad though. (sigh) Thanks for the mental kickstart...it was really late when I read it...brain was already asleep....zzzzz.

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 08-11-99 10:03 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Blue, I read this yesterday, and because I have problems with misspelled words [I am assuming you wanted "furry" to read "fury" [as in 'storm', and not as in 'cat'] I hesitated to respond. There's been so much grief lately over spelling, grammar, etc., and I didn't want to add fuel to the fire.

So, before I respond, let me know, am I looking at a kitty, or a storm?

------------------
KRJ
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

tori
Senior Member
since 06-18-99
Posts 521
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA


6 posted 08-11-99 11:11 AM       View Profile for tori   Email tori   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit tori's Home Page   View IP for tori

Blue this was beautiful.....
when I read it I got something different then what you described..
read into it that now the cat was out of the bag and the I love you's said that there was disappointment. not in love but in the anticipation of the not knowing, that state though overwhelming and sometimes crazy also brings a naturel high.... the release of it. the exhale.... and yet the freedom of having said it. sometimes brings regret or confusion. ... but that's just me.lol I'm so confused. :-) naturally...
blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


7 posted 08-11-99 03:01 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

Sunshine...Please excuse the misspell...my error (I think we need to add spell check to this forum sometimes) I hope now you will enjoy what I have written...Thank you Poet and tori for your kind words...
blueloon
 
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #1 >> Lingering Within Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors