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Passions in Poetry

Broken

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Fallen
New Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 3
Blissfield ,Michigan ,US


0 posted 08-08-99 10:15 PM       View Profile for Fallen   Email Fallen   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Fallen

You took the vows and said I do,
You ate the food and went to the motel room.
WE shared our thoughts,
We smiled and laughed,
We started our lives in a mad dash.
Promises were made promises are broken.
Who was to know we were headed for somthing unspoken.
Our children were borne into this marriage,
and all I see now-
THAT IS THE CARRIAGE IS BROKEN.


------------------
Brian
© Copyright 1999 Fallen - All Rights Reserved
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


1 posted 08-08-99 11:40 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

Dear BRian..

It's obvious you have much more to say on this topic...

get a piece of paper and pencil... and..

write ALL OF IT!...

you're writing in scraps.. (which is fine)
but...

get it all out.. and look at it
on paper..

then decide what you want to REALLY say..

cause.. I can see you really want to say something....but...are lost in scraps of feelings...

(this is not a bad thing).. just trying to help.
PrincessDoo
Junior Member
since 07-30-99
Posts 41
Cerritos, CA, USA


2 posted 08-08-99 11:47 PM       View Profile for PrincessDoo   Email PrincessDoo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for PrincessDoo

my dear
the above is right... it might be best to write a letter... but poems are wonderful... get it all out hun .. let it all out
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