I staggered to the bathroom, nearly tripping to the floor
Fell back against the towel rack, hit my head against the door
I knew I had too much to drink, my insides wanted out
I knew that I was loaded when I heard the toilet shout:
Get away from me, you stenching drunk, consider me on strike
I've been splashed with puke and soaked with pee, from some loud mouth drunk named Mike
So many asses I have held, the pimpled and the fair
Some asses with great craggy scars, some asses full of hair.
I've seen the drunkards wretch and urge, to fill my bowl with mush
They gag and spit and leave me soiled, and the buggers never flush
So begone from here, you raunchy mess, I'll host your kind no more
Just spin around, leave toilet town, be sure to close the door.
I did as told and left the room, much to my disgust
The lesson learned, a toilet spurned, is a toilet you can't trust.