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graham
Member

since 1999-07-31

Posts 60
South Yorkshire, England

0 posted 1999-08-07 04:04 PM

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trained To Smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The engine driver on his run
to who knows where, who cares where from
Feeling not so good today
in slow motion, on his way

Maybe it's his time of life
demanding kids, working wife
On his platform there's no spark
Its bright today but he's so dark

Where the road and railtrack meets
the faces in the driver's seats
look impatient, hanging on
to shoot off when his engine's gone
Scowl at watches, tap their wheels
is this how everybody feels?

At the next small crossing gate
just one old car that had to wait
Both driver's glances chanced to meet
He noticed how she smiled so sweet

She leaned out from her car to wave
with flame red hair and eyes ablaze
Just something that she always did
beside her father as a kid

He barely managed waving back
thundering gently down the track
He wondered if he'd been too late
surprise had made him hesitate

Afterwards, his heart felt light
his happiness had taken flight
He whistled on the whole day through
amazed what a smile can do

If only he'd have been polite
acknowledged her, and then she might
have realised just what she'd done
Reminded him life can be fun

The engine driver from that day
as every crossing comes his way
looks out in hope that he might see
the smiling lady, and that he
might get a chance to smile and wave
return the happiness she gave
It might just bring her joy the same
as when she smiled up at his train

This secret wish now keeps him going
happy in his work from knowing
One fine day they'll meet again
The lady and his passing train
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-07-99).]

Craig
Member

since 1999-06-10

Posts 444

1 posted 1999-08-07 08:32 PM

Graham

It amazes me that no-ones replied to this one, I think its great, so I’m pushing it back to the top for another chance around.
Keep them coming people are reading them, it’s just sometimes there are so many a few gems get missed.

Craig

Dragoness
Senior Member

since 1999-08-07

Posts 513

2 posted 1999-08-07 08:58 PM

Oh this made my day!!!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 1999-08-07 10:23 PM

Well, I certainly missed it and I'm glad I caught it this time. This is a beautiful story with a good moral. Only fertile imagination produces these gems.

graham
Member

since 1999-07-31

Posts 60
South Yorkshire, England

4 posted 1999-08-08 11:55 AM

Well thanks for the kind words...
but I think there are too many really good contributors here for me...so lesser works of art, like mine, so easily get missed. That makes it hard for me to learn from comments whether I hit the spot.

Thanks to those who did reply though.

petra
New Member

since 1999-08-08

Posts 5
freshwater ca. usa

5 posted 1999-08-08 12:33 PM

Graham, new to the site here but i am familiar with your complaint. It has been my experience that few postings usually mean few responses but as you continue to write your personality will emerge making it easier to evaluate your work. This poem is a nice piece, lovely story of anticipation, yet seem contricted to me by the stict end rhyme. Have you thought of a rewrite in free verse or at least a more extended meter?...p

graham
Member

since 1999-07-31

Posts 60
South Yorkshire, England

6 posted 1999-08-08 03:55 PM

Thanks for the advice...

I'm new...didn't realise how it worked.

Strict rhyme?...just experimenting with style.

And I dont write volumes...so I wont post frequently..so I won't get comments...

BTW... I got no notification of comments for this one...wonder why that is?

But thanks for yours :-)

[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-08-99).]

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

7 posted 1999-08-08 09:49 PM

I think this will be framed.. on my wall.. very soon..

Wonderful imagery.. the way you create out of thin air..

oh.. and I believe.. you have to check the box for email notification everytime you post something.. (i think)..

Thanks for the trip down the tracks...

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ <~~ that's me waving.. to ya... (grin)

Terri
Member

since 1999-08-08

Posts 82
Turtle Creek, PA

8 posted 1999-08-09 01:00 AM

I wish you could have seen the grin on my face after reading your poem! I am a redhead who waves to the engineers and have done so ever since I was a child. Now my children do the same. You've made my day!

RainbowGirl
Member Elite

since 1999-07-31

Posts 3023
United Kingdom

9 posted 1999-08-09 02:36 AM

and back to the top we go..:-)) To me this reads of two way appreciation, he for her and she for him...not to mention it's something I do, wave that is...I always think it's such a lonely job...thanks for the reminder..:-))

Hugs

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

angel girl
Member

since 1999-07-23

Posts 322
within a whisper...

10 posted 1999-08-09 03:50 AM

very nice.

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

11 posted 1999-08-09 03:04 PM

very well done indeed, graham...the rhyming was just fine...as a moderator here once told me "don't ever apologize for rhyming"...we all have our own style...and this was a lovely poem...Welcome graham

------------------
I will live my life as i, will undoubtedly die - alone. ~Morrissey~

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

12 posted 1999-08-09 03:11 PM

I liked this... perhaps we all need a reminder that our smiles (and frowns) may have more effect than we think!

graham
Member

since 1999-07-31

Posts 60
South Yorkshire, England

13 posted 1999-08-09 03:46 PM

Wow...now I'm shocked...and feeling quite humble.

Thanks for ALL the replies...very kind ones too.

This got a better response than my previous posting.."Timepiece"... which I thought was MUCH better (unfortunately, it was posted under the title.."please review").

Oh well....I'm learning :-)

P.S.
Special thanks to the red-haired wavers
Hahaha

------------------
I always wanted an edible canoe
but you can't have your kayak and eat it too!

[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-09-99).]

[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-10-99).]

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

14 posted 1999-08-09 10:38 PM

Please review.. why on earth would you post it that way??.. hahahah.. oopsy..

(It's up on my wall).. in my office..

so I review it quite often.(smile)

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

15 posted 1999-08-09 10:42 PM

p.s. it's right next to timepiece..(grin)

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