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Passions in Poetry

Trained To Smile

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graham
Member
since 07-31-99
Posts 62
South Yorkshire, England


0 posted 08-07-99 04:04 PM       View Profile for graham   Email graham   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for graham

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trained To Smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The engine driver on his run
to who knows where, who cares where from
Feeling not so good today
in slow motion, on his way

Maybe it's his time of life
demanding kids, working wife
On his platform there's no spark
Its bright today but he's so dark

Where the road and railtrack meets
the faces in the driver's seats
look impatient, hanging on
to shoot off when his engine's gone
Scowl at watches, tap their wheels
is this how everybody feels?

At the next small crossing gate
just one old car that had to wait
Both driver's glances chanced to meet
He noticed how she smiled so sweet

She leaned out from her car to wave
with flame red hair and eyes ablaze
Just something that she always did
beside her father as a kid

He barely managed waving back
thundering gently down the track
He wondered if he'd been too late
surprise had made him hesitate

Afterwards, his heart felt light
his happiness had taken flight
He whistled on the whole day through
amazed what a smile can do

If only he'd have been polite
acknowledged her, and then she might
have realised just what she'd done
Reminded him life can be fun

The engine driver from that day
as every crossing comes his way
looks out in hope that he might see
the smiling lady, and that he
might get a chance to smile and wave
return the happiness she gave
It might just bring her joy the same
as when she smiled up at his train

This secret wish now keeps him going
happy in his work from knowing
One fine day they'll meet again
The lady and his passing train
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-07-99).]
© Copyright 1999 graham - All Rights Reserved
Craig
Senior Member
since 06-10-99
Posts 882


1 posted 08-07-99 08:32 PM       View Profile for Craig   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Craig


Graham

It amazes me that no-ones replied to this one, I think its great, so Iím pushing it back to the top for another chance around.
Keep them coming people are reading them, itís just sometimes there are so many a few gems get missed.

Craig
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


2 posted 08-07-99 08:58 PM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Oh this made my day!!!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


3 posted 08-07-99 10:23 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Well, I certainly missed it and I'm glad I caught it this time. This is a beautiful story with a good moral. Only fertile imagination produces these gems.
graham
Member
since 07-31-99
Posts 62
South Yorkshire, England


4 posted 08-08-99 11:55 AM       View Profile for graham   Email graham   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for graham

Well thanks for the kind words...
but I think there are too many really good contributors here for me...so lesser works of art, like mine, so easily get missed. That makes it hard for me to learn from comments whether I hit the spot.

Thanks to those who did reply though.
petra
New Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 5
freshwater ca. usa


5 posted 08-08-99 12:33 PM       View Profile for petra   Email petra   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for petra

Graham, new to the site here but i am familiar with your complaint. It has been my experience that few postings usually mean few responses but as you continue to write your personality will emerge making it easier to evaluate your work. This poem is a nice piece, lovely story of anticipation, yet seem contricted to me by the stict end rhyme. Have you thought of a rewrite in free verse or at least a more extended meter?...p
graham
Member
since 07-31-99
Posts 62
South Yorkshire, England


6 posted 08-08-99 03:55 PM       View Profile for graham   Email graham   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for graham

Thanks for the advice...

I'm new...didn't realise how it worked.

Strict rhyme?...just experimenting with style.

And I dont write volumes...so I wont post frequently..so I won't get comments...

BTW... I got no notification of comments for this one...wonder why that is?

But thanks for yours :-)




[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-08-99).]
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


7 posted 08-08-99 09:49 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

I think this will be framed.. on my wall.. very soon..

Wonderful imagery.. the way you create out of thin air..

oh.. and I believe.. you have to check the box for email notification everytime you post something.. (i think)..

Thanks for the trip down the tracks...

~~ ~~ ~~ ~~ <~~ that's me waving.. to ya... (grin)
Terri
Member
since 08-08-99
Posts 82
Turtle Creek, PA


8 posted 08-09-99 01:00 AM       View Profile for Terri   Email Terri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Terri

I wish you could have seen the grin on my face after reading your poem! I am a redhead who waves to the engineers and have done so ever since I was a child. Now my children do the same. You've made my day!
RainbowGirl
Member Elite
since 07-31-99
Posts 3167
United Kingdom


9 posted 08-09-99 02:36 AM       View Profile for RainbowGirl   Email RainbowGirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit RainbowGirl's Home Page   View IP for RainbowGirl

and back to the top we go..:-)) To me this reads of two way appreciation, he for her and she for him...not to mention it's something I do, wave that is...I always think it's such a lonely job...thanks for the reminder..:-))

Hugs

------------------
You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.

angel girl
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 329
within a whisper...


10 posted 08-09-99 03:50 AM       View Profile for angel girl   Email angel girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angel girl

very nice.
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


11 posted 08-09-99 03:04 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

very well done indeed, graham...the rhyming was just fine...as a moderator here once told me "don't ever apologize for rhyming"...we all have our own style...and this was a lovely poem...Welcome graham

------------------
I will live my life as i, will undoubtedly die - alone. ~Morrissey~
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


12 posted 08-09-99 03:11 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

I liked this... perhaps we all need a reminder that our smiles (and frowns) may have more effect than we think!
graham
Member
since 07-31-99
Posts 62
South Yorkshire, England


13 posted 08-09-99 03:46 PM       View Profile for graham   Email graham   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for graham

Wow...now I'm shocked...and feeling quite humble.

Thanks for ALL the replies...very kind ones too.

This got a better response than my previous posting.."Timepiece"... which I thought was MUCH better (unfortunately, it was posted under the title.."please review").

Oh well....I'm learning :-)

P.S.
Special thanks to the red-haired wavers
Hahaha

------------------
I always wanted an edible canoe
but you can't have your kayak and eat it too!

[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-09-99).]

[This message has been edited by graham (edited 08-10-99).]
redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


14 posted 08-09-99 10:38 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

Please review.. why on earth would you post it that way??.. hahahah.. oopsy..

(It's up on my wall).. in my office..

so I review it quite often.(smile)

redwriter1
Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 476
Franklin, TN


15 posted 08-09-99 10:42 PM       View Profile for redwriter1   Email redwriter1   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for redwriter1

p.s. it's right next to timepiece..(grin)
 
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