Ala bam a
One night last week old Balladeer Bold,
Tried to rob a house.
He crept up to the window,
As quietly as a mouse.
Into the window, into the room,
And into a great big hall.
If he had know 'twas an old maid's home,
He never would have paid the call.
About nine o'clock the old maid came.
"Oh, I'm so tired," she said,
Thinking that all was well that night,
She forgot to look under the bed.
She took out her teeth and a big glass eye,
And the hair off the top of her head;
Balladeer had about ninety-nine fits,
As he looked from under the bed.
The old maid reached for her great big gun,
And to Balladeer she said;
"Young man, if you don't marry me,
I'll blow off the top of your head."
Balladeer looked all around the room,
And could find no place to scoot.
He looked at the teeth and the big glass eye,
And said, "Woman, for God's sake, shoot!"