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Passions in Poetry

Late Night Lament

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Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


0 posted 08-07-99 12:36 AM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Where does the night go?
When all are asleep
Why am I pacing the floor?
The dark of the night so deep

Another night lost
For reasons unknown
Time passes by
And still I'm alone

Where is it you've been?
And why aren't you here
Did something happen to you
That’s always my biggest fear

Are you hurt or bleeding somewhere?
Out on the streets so late
Or are you having fun, no cares
And what's her name that you date

In the light of the morning
The sun high in the sky
The pacing finally stops
I'm so tired I could cry

At last you walk in the door
You're tired but smile when you see me
You where supposed to be home at four
Awww Mom let me be!



------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
© Copyright 1999 Dragoness - All Rights Reserved
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


1 posted 08-07-99 12:40 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

man this poem is sooo true i only got little ones but i fret they will do this to mee good ending surprised me i like it!
Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


2 posted 08-07-99 02:55 PM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Thanks Walt....your turn will come!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
Alicat
Member Elite
since 05-23-99
Posts 4277
Coastal Texas


3 posted 08-07-99 03:16 PM       View Profile for Alicat   Email Alicat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alicat

Hehe...I've been here more times than I care to remember. Nowadays, my parents just lock the doors at a certain hour, so if I'm not in on time, I get to sleep in my car.

Style-wise, this one had a very conversational rhythm, but the meter jumped between 2 and 3 beats per line, with an odd 4 every now and then. Also there seems to be variant stresses, alternating between hard and soft with no clear pattern. But this is all structural stuff.

Message-wise, I loved it. I've found myself doing the same pacing and fretting about my mom, from time to time. Oh, but they do get wild when they get older.


Alicat

Gentle Soul
Member
since 07-12-99
Posts 274
Vinton,Ohio USA


4 posted 08-08-99 12:25 AM       View Profile for Gentle Soul   Email Gentle Soul   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gentle Soul

Dragoness.. what a great poem.. you have no need to worry about how good this poem is.. I love it!

------------------
Gėnt£ė¤§°ū£

~one voice~
Senior Member
since 07-08-99
Posts 668
Billings, MT USA


5 posted 08-08-99 12:34 AM       View Profile for ~one voice~   Email ~one voice~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~one voice~

Dragoness... like you told Walt, my time will come as well... I only have little ones, but I KNOW they will do the same! Wonderful poem!

------------------
~onevoice~

"She looked at her life
like lines, never-ending,
constantly forming,
reforming and bending."


DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


6 posted 08-08-99 04:51 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Marvelous work, twin to my soul!

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©


Dragoness
Senior Member
since 08-07-99
Posts 525


7 posted 08-08-99 10:18 AM       View Profile for Dragoness   Email Dragoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Dragoness's Home Page   View IP for Dragoness

Alicat-Thanks I'm trying to learn and I need all the help I can get!
One Voice-you bet your time well come! Thanks!
Gentle Soul- As always little Sister!!THanks Angel!
Dream- your words mean the most.Thank-You brother of my heart!

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


8 posted 08-09-99 09:36 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

i sometimes worry about my baby as well...all the boys in the neighborhood are after her...she is every tom cat's girlfriend (of course, she is fixed)
Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 08-02-99
Posts 9130
Purgatorial Incarceration


9 posted 08-09-99 09:49 PM       View Profile for Christopher   Email Christopher   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Christopher

I'm w/you Elvira, I sometimes wonder if my chilli-cats could be worse than "real" children. (I swear they're more spoiled!)
Nice poem Dragoness, but you've made me feel a tad guilty at the things that must've run through my parents heads!

------------------
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars.
-Unknown-
So let the sun beat down upon my face,
It's warmth will dry my tears.
 
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