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Passions in Poetry

The Bedtime Story (comments accepted)

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Blondie
Member
since 08-06-99
Posts 307
Ohio


0 posted 08-06-99 08:02 PM       View Profile for Blondie   Email Blondie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Blondie

Bedtime Story
By: Melissa Rose Forinash

As his daughter's getting sleepy
her father lays her down to bed.
"Tell me a story daddy." Says the child
"All right sweetheart" the Father said...

"Imagine that once long ago
there was someone up above.
He did not take part in evil
he only knew of endless love.
And say this king (as whom we'll call)
decided to make something new.
He decided to create a world
a world full of all things true.

"And imagine that the ones He made
decided not to do His will.
They chose to disobey their King
and for this they suffer still.
But was not He who caused their pain
but someone jealous of His power.
Who was angry at the reigning King
and would fight until the final hour.

"And assume this kind strong King
wished to help everyone His lands.
And sent His only son from Him
to this place where evil stands
This son would die for all of them
all of them who left the King-
that wanted to return to Him
and hear the angel chorus sing.

"So all the good people of the lands
know where faith and glory stands
They know who they'll be with someday
there to live and there to stay.

He looked into her rosy cheeks
and leaned down really close to say:
"Imagine that the story's real
and we shall be there some day."

Copyright@1998

------------------
Rose
© Copyright 1999 Melissa - All Rights Reserved
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


1 posted 08-07-99 03:24 AM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

OK.. I don't know why no one commented on this poem.. it was very good.. I liked the way you made the story flow.. with a point behind it.. glad I took the time for this one. Good job.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 07-17-99
Posts 8273


2 posted 08-11-99 01:48 AM       View Profile for Severn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Severn

I concur with Lucie - very nice. Well paced.
angel girl
Member
since 07-23-99
Posts 329
within a whisper...


3 posted 08-11-99 05:55 AM       View Profile for angel girl   Email angel girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for angel girl

Very good. I really like the last 2 lines. They give hope.

------------------
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
-William Shakespeare

Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


4 posted 08-11-99 07:16 AM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

I found this one quite good, and powerful.
Good Job.

PW
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


5 posted 08-11-99 07:31 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

As though I'd know anything much about poetry....LOL....I do know what I like...and I liked this one....
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