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The Bedtime Story (comments accepted)
| Open Poetry #1 |
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The Bedtime Story (comments accepted) |
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Blondie Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 307Ohio 
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Bedtime Story By: Melissa Rose Forinash As his daughter's getting sleepy her father lays her down to bed. "Tell me a story daddy." Says the child "All right sweetheart" the Father said... "Imagine that once long ago there was someone up above. He did not take part in evil he only knew of endless love. And say this king (as whom we'll call) decided to make something new. He decided to create a world a world full of all things true. "And imagine that the ones He made decided not to do His will. They chose to disobey their King and for this they suffer still. But was not He who caused their pain but someone jealous of His power. Who was angry at the reigning King and would fight until the final hour. "And assume this kind strong King wished to help everyone His lands. And sent His only son from Him to this place where evil stands This son would die for all of them all of them who left the King- that wanted to return to Him and hear the angel chorus sing. "So all the good people of the lands know where faith and glory stands They know who they'll be with someday there to live and there to stay. He looked into her rosy cheeks and leaned down really close to say: "Imagine that the story's real and we shall be there some day." Copyright@1998 ------------------ Rose |
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| © Copyright 1999 Melissa - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lucie Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077Houston |
OK.. I don't know why no one commented on this poem.. it was very good.. I liked the way you made the story flow.. with a point behind it.. glad I took the time for this one. Good job. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
I concur with Lucie - very nice. Well paced. |
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angel girl Member
since 1999-07-23
Posts 322within a whisper... |
Very good. I really like the last 2 lines. They give hope. ------------------ One touch of nature makes the whole world kin. -William Shakespeare |
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
I found this one quite good, and powerful. Good Job. PW |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
As though I'd know anything much about poetry....LOL....I do know what I like...and I liked this one.... |
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