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Passions in Poetry

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

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Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


0 posted 08-06-99 09:18 AM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Toerag

There once was a man from Montana,
That had a problem with gas.
Whenever he farted it went "HONDA!"
And the gas he frequently passed.

Now this was quite embarrassing yanno,
As he worked in an office full of women.
Every doctor said they just didn't know,
How to cure this unusual dilemma.

He'd ride the bus to work each day,
Praying he could control his intestines,
But the urge was to great-there was no way,
He'd fart; "HONDA!" so loud it was deafening.

He'd been to specialists, none had a cure,
He figured he'd just commit suicide,
Cuz farting HONDA! outloud
In a small or large crowd,
Was to much to go on with his life.

He was strolling around, in old China Town,
Saw this on a store's Marquee;
"CHUN THE HERBALIST OF FAME
I can cure most any thing."

He figured "what the hell?
Before I take my own life,
Maybe the Chinaman can make me well,
Guess I should give him a try."

Chun asked the man; what "ploblems" he had,
The man explained of his "HONDA!" farting..
And when they passed they were so loud,
"It was similar to a Honda starting!"

The herbalist said, "No ploblem within you intestines,
But you have abcess tooth,
A dentist you need's my suggestion.
I know this will plobably cure you."


The man replied, "You don't understand,
When I have flatulence, and it's often,
It's loud and goes "HONDA!" you damn Chinaman,
And the sound's impossible to soften!"

The Chinaman sent him to an old dentist friend,
Who sure enough found an abcess,
He pulled the tooth and said it'd soon mend,
To go home-drink liquids and rest.

His problem was cured-and though sounds absurd,
The Chinaman explained to the man from Montana;
"You never hear the old Chinese Ploverb;
Abcess make the fart go HONDA?"

Okay....okay....I know it was really bad, but I'm so damned bored this morning?.....

© Copyright 1999 Toerag - All Rights Reserved
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


1 posted 08-06-99 09:23 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

LOL, Your boredom had me laughing, great job.
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


2 posted 08-06-99 09:45 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

Toerag: You know I'd never wish boredom on you, sweets... but neither can I complain about the product! LOL. (You do realize that giggles are very unprofessional and make it obvious I'm playing and not working? LOL) Your boredom alleviated mine.... thanks! *G*
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 07-07-99
Posts 32119
Tamarac Fla


3 posted 08-06-99 01:17 PM       View Profile for Seymour Tabin   Email Seymour Tabin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Seymour Tabin

You just had a little Honda gas. One of your
lighter moments no doubt. Enjoyed
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


4 posted 08-06-99 01:56 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Toe

Are you really, really, really sure he pulled that tooth????? Who? Me? Why did I ask? Ohhh.... nothing... just an observation.
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


5 posted 08-06-99 02:02 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

LOL! Oh let's hear it for more bored moments! This was great Toerag, I look forward to more.

------------------
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain*
 
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