How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #1 Archive
 Your Piece of Lonely Fool
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

Your Piece of Lonely Fool

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


0 posted 08-05-99 12:22 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Lucie

You look at me, but you donít see
that everyday a piece of me
is dying in this big old house
while I wait for them to let him out.

The part that everyone seems to need.
Is fading but you pay no heed.
My screams fall on your hollow ears
you can not hear me it appears.

You come to me you take a part
you all snatch and grab a piece of heart
then walk away and leave me here
drowning in my silent tears.

You criticize you hypocrite
but check your hands you hold a bit.
Your opinion seems to say
that I should stay here locked away.

"Donít let them in" you say to me.
"No one cares that your lonely."
I took vows to him .. I know
should I stay faithful.. you think so.

You listen and you sympathize
then turn around and criticize.
Iím opening the door again.
you scream at me "Donít let them in."

Until the moment weíre alone
when your opinions turn to stone.
Then you reach out to snatch your part
the little piece of Lucieís heart.

You listen and you think you hear
you look and watch me disappear.
You reach for me with gentle touch
you just donít know its not enough.

I am dying can't you see
for I would face the guilt in me.
And you could walk away unharmed
and touch another with your charm.

This prison that Iím living in
is closing in on me again.
As I sit here and hand the tools,
come snatch a piece of lonely fool.
© Copyright 1999 Lucille Dobbins - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


1 posted 08-05-99 01:24 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Lucie, this is a really powerful piece with more great lines than I can count. The last stanza makes it all. Very, very well done.
Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


2 posted 08-05-99 04:04 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Thank you Balladeer, your praise means so much to me. There are many layers to this lonely fools heart.
Mark R.
Member
since 06-25-99
Posts 118
San Francisco, CA.


3 posted 08-05-99 04:18 PM       View Profile for Mark R.   Email Mark R.   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mark R.

A lovely, touching piece of work. You had me reeling in emotion. I find myself wondering at times why it is that the ones that are closest to us....be the ones that cause us the greatest pains. I can't emphasize enough the brilliance of your poem. Great job, keep up the good work...
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


4 posted 08-05-99 04:29 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Lucie

That is hard. It is pure. I felt it in my heart, and I felt it in my conscience. You flowed, and it stands on its own.

If a selection of poems about need and loss is taken from this board and published, this poem must be there. Your poem reminds me of a Statue in Central Park.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


5 posted 08-05-99 04:58 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

I like this, Lucy. I see this person as if she were not only talking to him, but to another as well. Good piece.

------------------
© KRJ
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Lucie
Senior Member
since 06-20-99
Posts 1123
Houston


6 posted 08-05-99 05:23 PM       View Profile for Lucie   Email Lucie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lucie

Thank you all for your kind replies. This poem as with the others I write give to you a piece of me. The lonely fool.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


7 posted 08-05-99 07:14 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Well written, I can really relate to this one
Lucie will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #1 >> Your Piece of Lonely Fool Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors