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Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

0 posted 1999-08-04 07:05 PM

Lord Satan was sick
With a kink in his tail
So he called for Bal
Best apothecary in Hell

Bal took one look
At that bent old tail
Produced two white pills
And a bill of sale

"Here, take two of these,
And call me in the morn.
Now, no torturing sinners
And go watch some bad porn."

So down the pills went
With the greatest of ease
And in half an hour
Came Satan's first sneeze

It was the first of many
That just wouldn't stop
And the more he sneezed
The worse they got

With each great blast
Satan's anger grew
A madness so hot
That his horns turned blue

Sneeze after sneeze
He was now in full rage
That the Devil couldn't stop
Put his mind in a haze

Then the final fit came
With one last blow
Making Satan's mind so befuddled
That he caused it to snow

As the white flakes fell
Promises came to mind
And Satan made one more
That he'd pay Bal in kind

But how was Bal to know
What would make the Devil sneeze
That taking penicillin
Would trigger sever allergies

Poor Bal now stands in a vat
With monkey vomit to his chin
While imps in speedboats go round
Making waves that never thin

So if you find yourself
Traveling heated lands below
Reserve some pity for the demon
Who had a hand in Satan's Snow

[This message has been edited by Andrew Scott (edited 08-05-99).]

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

1 posted 1999-08-04 07:26 PM

The more I read about his plight,
The more it makes me madder.
I think I'll make for him tonight
A 50 foot Bal ladder.

Balladeer - You're one incorrigi-bal lad, deer...

Miss Behavin'

[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 08-04-99).]

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

2 posted 1999-08-04 07:54 PM

Most appreciative he'd be
For a ladder so tall
As the vats gotten deeper
For poor old Bal

poohbear
Junior Member

since 1999-08-02

Posts 42
piedmont,sc

3 posted 1999-08-04 07:58 PM

it caused me sorrow to hear
about satans sneeze
but it certianly falls short of giving reason to get on my knees
so please do know thats as satans troubles go
for this one i was so pleased
i grabbed my swimtrunk and my skis

nice job as always

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

4 posted 1999-08-04 08:07 PM

Poohbear, if you're interested I think one of the imps has a tow line behind his boat. I'm sure it won't make much difference to Bal. Have a fun time

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

5 posted 1999-08-05 12:54 PM

Shamelessly throwing this one too the top. Hope nobody minds.

Sally S.
Senior Member

since 1999-06-07

Posts 847
Ohio

6 posted 1999-08-05 01:57 PM

Well, you certainly couldn't tell Satan "God Bless You"....when he sneezes.
You guys are just too much..LOL

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

7 posted 1999-08-05 05:39 PM

Thanks for coming by Sally. I think if you were to bless Satan he'd break out in a severe case of the hives.

Dragoness
Senior Member

since 1999-08-07

Posts 513

8 posted 1999-08-10 05:42 AM

I loved this! Thought it should be up with the new post.

------------------
Set you heart free and your mind will follow.

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

9 posted 1999-08-10 06:23 AM

This was great, I can't wait to read part 2.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

10 posted 1999-08-10 02:22 PM

Thank you, one and all for taking the time to read and share your comments. You've all made my day! I definitely understand how easy it is to miss something given all the postings that materialize in a 24 hour period, so no apologies necessary. Part Three? It's a possibility… depends on whether God can cease sneezing before that final blast.

If you will indulge me, I would like to acknowledge my inspirational sources for these two pieces. First of all, thanks to Harlan Ellison who wrote something titled the "Chocolate Alphabet from A to Z." Where the letter "Q" stood for a demon who did just what was described in "Satan's Snow." I read it all of some 20 years ago and it has always stuck with me as a very funny situation. If you ever come across this selection of short stories I highly recommend them. Secondly, I give thanks to the humor of George Carlen with a routine that stated: "The guy we think of as God is only third in command." Thus, the whole notion of God and Satan being less than supreme, having a mom, and being brothers. Sort of a Cain and Able thing.

I would also like to thank all of you who reside within these poetic halls for have provided the inspiration to create and the courage to present those creations. I bow to you and yours in humble gratitude.

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