I took a girlfriend on a date,
I got her home at half-past eight,
I asked if I could osculate,
She slapped my face, said you ingrate.
Was chatting with the neighbor lad,
I told him that his mother had,
A homo sapien for a mate,
He kicked my shin, said you ingrate.
Out in the yard, was late one night,
I asked my mom, is it all right
For me to please, expectorate?
She got the switch, said you ingrate.
To pretty girl, I did allude,
I really like your pulchitrude,
She hit so hard, my teeth did grate,
And as she struck, said you ingrate.
The pain I hope to obviate,
But first I must not obfuscate,
Or once again, they'll objurgate,
And as they strike, say you ingrate.