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Open Poetry #1
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Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

0 posted 1999-08-02 07:32 PM


In your eyes I've seen
The setting sun on a sandy beach
The rising moon over desert heat

In your eyes I've seen
Love fulfilled and a caring heart
A puzzle finding its missing part

In your eyes I've seen
So many possibilities
The means to overcome probabilities

In your eyes I've seen
My life, my destiny
The best that would be me

So I ask you why
When the sun starts to fade
You've come to the point
Of putting on shades

© Copyright 1999 Andrew Scott - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 1999-08-02 07:41 PM


Excellent! This could be deep with meaning... is she putting on shades in the twilight of the romance or the twilight of the day? Good!
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
2 posted 1999-08-02 07:42 PM


Beautifully stated. Very nice job with this one!

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
3 posted 1999-08-02 08:13 PM


Thank you ladies for stopping by. Devine one, I'm glad I accomplished that level of uncertainty. Its what I was aiming for although I thought the title might tip my hand early. Your praise is the coin of the realm.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
4 posted 1999-08-02 08:35 PM


I do agree with deVine. The connection between the two is very well thought out and creates thought. Well done.
poohbear
Junior Member
since 1999-08-02
Posts 42
piedmont,sc
5 posted 1999-08-02 09:01 PM


i agree with the others interesting ending to a peice that was devinly inspired...(ha ha)
actualy its a verrynice piece. as a new comer i wonder if this is normal practice for one writer to inspire another.
it has been said that the greatest form of flattery is to be copied. thanks for the flattery and the interesting twist.

poohbear
Junior Member
since 1999-08-02
Posts 42
piedmont,sc
6 posted 1999-08-02 09:03 PM


i agree with the others interesting
ending to a peice that was devinly
inspired...(ha ha)
actualy its a verrynice piece. as a
new comer i wonder if this is normal
practice for one writer to inspire
another.
it has been said that the greatest
form of flattery is to be copied.
thanks for the flattery and the
interesting twist.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
7 posted 1999-08-03 12:19 PM


Thank you Sir Balladeer, glad you enjoyed.

Poohbear: I admit, you inspired me to take a different direction with something I was already working on but could not seem to complete. Thank you! And yes, I think there is a lot of inspiration to be gained within these poetic halls. Happy Reading!

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
8 posted 1999-08-03 12:28 PM


Mr. Scott, Mr. Scott, Mr. Scott....

Extremely clever and ingeniously done. The simplistic pattern completely unprepared me for the depth of the metaphor. I've read it a few times and have come up with a different meaning each time - this is what good poetry is to me.

Nosce te ipsum
JP

Sally S.
Senior Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 847
Ohio
9 posted 1999-08-03 12:56 PM


First, I thought...Oh, this is a pretty poem. Then....hmmmmm...definitely thought provoking and can be interpreted in a couple different ways. Man, I love poetry!! Great work, Andrew!
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
10 posted 1999-08-03 03:42 PM


Covering those windows to the soul... I like! *G*
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
11 posted 1999-08-03 04:33 PM


JP: Thank you very much. That I was able to create such a response is most encouraging. Glad you enjoyed.

Sally: Thank you for stopping by, your words are much appreciated.

Suthern: That's where I was originally headed with this piece. Thanks for coming by.

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
12 posted 2007-06-03 02:02 AM


Definitely felt like she was shading her soul.  Very nice poem ~ glad it jumped in my way and tripped me up to read it.

A

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
13 posted 2007-11-12 08:57 PM


Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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