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Passions in Poetry

My Love With The Emerald Eyes

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Emmy
Member
since 06-29-99
Posts 204
KY

Newsletter Staff
0 posted 08-01-99 12:29 PM       View Profile for Emmy   Email Emmy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Emmy's Home Page   View IP for Emmy


No longer lasts this love of mine
It's destiny was quite ill
My hope shattered, my dreams crushed,
this pain I feel still.
Oh, my lady witht he chestnut hair
and eyes like emeralds shine
She broke my heart that fateful day
Alas, her love is not mine
I approached her on a summer's eve
The air was thick and sweet
with the scent of blooming flowers
growing 'round my lover's feet
We walked together up a hill
for at the top was "our tree"
And we watched the stars come out,
the perfect time it be.
I turned to look into those eyes
of which I had grown so fond
They always twinkled as she smiled;
an everlasting bond.
My throat was dry, my palms were wet
as I began to say
the way I felt about my love
from the very first day
I told of the casual times
spent together at the lake
And of all the cold winter nights
with her warmth, my heart she would take
And of all the previous strolls
that had led us to this spot
I swore there never was a time
when I had loved her not
The charges I felt when she took my hand,
or when she looked at me,
and all the times we laughed together...
so now did she see?
But as my words came tumbling out
I saw a wrinkle in her brow
Did I say something wrong? I thought
Should the time not have been now?
But not a word escaped her mouth
and my heart began to pound
Did this love not really exist?
Was it one my imagination had found?
Then she took my hand
and pulled it to her tight
and just held on to me
like something wasn't right
I asked her what the matter was,
if I had caused her pain
But silence was her answer
as her tears began to fall like rain
I tried to wipe them from her cheek
but she just turned away
Was I wrong to even believe
that today was the day?
She offered no explanation
and so there we just stood
I was wracking my brain for answers...
Should I? Could I? I would
So I turned to her again
and looked deep into those emerald eyes
but it was then she said to me
under darkening skies
that my love for her was in vain,
we were not meant to be
She loved me deeply too,
but this I could not see
If we both felt the same,
then why try to fight?
we could declare our love near our tree
on this very night!
But she shook her head at me
and on she did plead
"Our love would not be right!
This pain we will not need!"
And so, on that summer's eve,
she tried to make ME understand.
Her last words to me, "I'm sorry"
and then gently dropped my hand
She froze for only a moment
and then took of down the hill
and even long after she had gone
I could not move still.
The air whose aroma had once been so sweet
now burned inside each lung
and with every breath I took
the pain was so strong it stung.
My dream was torn to bits
and right there, my life fell apart.
Up there on that hill
she left the pieces of my heart.
And those beautiful emerald eyes
I never saw again
I tried so hard afterwards
for my life to once more begin
But my heart and mind were never the same
her voice haunted my thoughts
Her last words echoed in my head
and left me quite disraught.
And now I love no more
for there is no room in my heart
for anyone but that one love,
the one who tore it apart.
© Copyright 1999 Emmy - All Rights Reserved
Sundance
Member
since 07-11-99
Posts 124


1 posted 08-01-99 02:21 PM       View Profile for Sundance   Email Sundance   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sundance

Oh my god! U about had me crying! That wuz really good. I guess your peotry writers block is gone. C ya at the party!

Emmy
Member
since 06-29-99
Posts 204
KY

Newsletter Staff
2 posted 08-01-99 04:30 PM       View Profile for Emmy   Email Emmy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Emmy's Home Page   View IP for Emmy

Aly!!! You're back!!! Did you get my letter? WBS! Thanxs for replying; now that you're back I hope to see more poetry! Yay! And yes, I am over my writer's block.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


3 posted 08-01-99 07:55 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Emmy, I really loved this poem, my only suggestion would be to smoothen up the flow just a bit by adding a few and subtracting a few words here and there...very easily done without changing a bit of it's meaning. Good work!

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Emmy
Member
since 06-29-99
Posts 204
KY

Newsletter Staff
4 posted 08-03-99 08:52 PM       View Profile for Emmy   Email Emmy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Emmy's Home Page   View IP for Emmy

Well hootowl, I know what you mean. I KNEW there was something wrong with this poem when I posted it; it sounded, well, quirky in places, like it wasn't all put together. I'll try to switch things around a bit like you said and see how it turns out. Thanks for constructive critisism, it always helps to know what your audience thinks! I'll post the edited version of this later...
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


5 posted 08-03-99 10:20 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

I shall look forward to the revised version!! This one was wonderful, though! Ah, a love that was too good to be true..been there, done that. Keep up the great work!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"Your kiss upon my face feels like a brush with grace, baby thats all it takes to take me higher..." SHeDaisy
 
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