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hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

0 posted 1999-07-30 11:04 AM


Hush

Hush now, for baby sleeps
forever in the angels keep.
Golden hair and cherubs face,
how can another take your place?
Nine months I waited for your birth;
felt your movements in my growing girth;
listened to your beating heart;
then felt my world fall all apart.
Crashing down around me fell,
the dreams I had and planned so well.
First tooth, first word, your first snow,
the joys of these I’ll never know.
A footprint card, a lock of hair
are all that prove that you were here.
An empty crib stands in wait.
Who is this “God” to judge your fate ?
Empty arms no life to hold.
An empty heart that grief enfolds.
Sorrow deeper than ever known
where life inside me once has grown.
Who’s to know ? Who’s to say?
Who must go and who will stay?
Which life must fade and which should grow ?
Who’s to say ? Who’s to know ?
...Hush now, for baby sleeps,
forever in the angels keep.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

[This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 07-30-99).]

© Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 1999-07-30 11:11 AM


My heart weeps....
Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
2 posted 1999-07-30 12:32 PM


I cannot begin to express the level of sorrow this has brought on. There are tears in my eyes, and my heart goes out to you. I know this was painful to write, but thank you for sharing it with us. It is very moving.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 1999-07-30 12:35 PM


I've been impressed with your poetry before, but this sets a new standard in my book. What a wonderful, wonderful piece! The thoughts, and the questions, are on the money. I didn't carry her but spina bifida took her away and those questions were my own. Thank you, hoot.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 1999-07-30 01:14 PM


Balladeer, my dear poet, my empathy is with you on your loss. I understand how it must have hurt, and always the father is forgotten, the pain seems to be all the mothers pain and he is put on the back burner. Although I lost a child early on in a pregnancy, this poem was not written for myself. I actually wrote this poem for a patient who I took care of in the hospital. She came in for me, very late at night, 9 months pregnant with her first child and bleeding severly. We delivered her within 45 minutes of her arrival on the floor, she survived, but we worked on the baby for 2 hours to no avail. I bagged and gave meds the entire 2 hours and cried all the while for the pain I knew she must be going through. I almost quit my job that night. I was commended for my quick actions and thinking saving the life of the mother, but suffered terribly at the loss of the child. I did all I could have done and more in the situation, but sometimes that is not enough. I wrote this after that incident, but I could never give it to her...and I am still working in OB.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
5 posted 1999-07-30 01:25 PM


Thank God you are.
INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
6 posted 1999-07-30 01:28 PM


I am not sure that I should say I enjoyed this piece....it is very well done!!! There seems to be no shortage of pain to go around. I am married to an exceptional ER nurse and we get our share as well. I am not sure why it is so but tragedies with children seem to cut far deeper than any other. I am glad you chose to stay with your professional calling. Good care-givers are hard to replace and great ones are impossible to replace.

Excellent work all around!

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
7 posted 1999-07-30 01:46 PM


well... Hootessa doesn't seem so good an address right now.

I read your poem.
I wish you hadn't posted it.
well... I think I wish you hadn't.
It was good, and it was bad.
It read well, but it read like hell.
Do you understand?

I'm sorry. I tried to write this as a paragraph. It looked like it could be poetry. I wish I hadn't tried. I feel terrible. I think what you wrote was incredible, but it still hurts. Can you explain that?

Please. Don't do this again without telling me in advance that what I read may not be what I CAN read. I have feelings, too. I have a strong sense of empathy. I'm strong, but only when I can stand off to one side and not think about what has been said. What you wrote does not afford me that choice. I think it was wonderful, but it was terrible.

The purpose of poetry is to reach deep inside another person and make them feel, and what you wrote touches the very essence of my poetic soul.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 1999-07-30 02:00 PM


Long John,
Yes, I do understand and my appologizes for making you feel uncomfortable, it was not my wish or desire to do so. A lot of my poems are very intense and sometimes it is hard to seperate oneself from the emotions they create. I write what I feel and a lot of the time, my feelings run very deep. I do not mean to make one uncomfortable or even sad, but sometimes I feel what I write needs to be out there. I wish life was all laughter, roses, rmance, love...but it isn't, and someone has to deal with the other aspects of life also.

INclan... your wife has an even tougher job than myself and my hat is off to her. Thanks for your comments

Balladeer...Thanks, I'm glad I stayed where I did, it is a very rewarding job and I love my work.



------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

9 posted 1999-07-30 02:12 PM


Thank you for posting this....
My wife is a R.N. and worked for many years on obstetrics.... How unfortunate that few realize the emotional impact on the caregiver.... Not only was your poem heartfelt, it was exceptionally well written.... Again, thank you for posting.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
10 posted 1999-07-30 02:18 PM


m'Lady

I forgot to say - don't ever hold back. The poem was beautiful for all the love it carried in it. I do not regret for a minute reading it. It touched me as deeply as anything I have ever read. I just wasn't prepared for something that could affect me this strongly. That was my fault, not yours.

VirginLady
Junior Member
since 1999-07-30
Posts 14
UK
11 posted 1999-07-30 02:22 PM


My heart goes out to both you and the mother...

HUGS

------------------
Rainbows are special..:-))

tulip
Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 320
unknown
12 posted 1999-07-30 07:12 PM


I'm sorry for your loss, Hoot_owl_rn...this was beautifully written.
Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
13 posted 1999-07-30 11:26 PM


I can never imagine going thru that.I have
three healthy children and I thank god for
them every day.Sad to say it don't allways
turn out that way.

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