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Passions in Poetry

The changes of Life through a teens eyes.

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SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs
New Member
since 07-29-99
Posts 4


0 posted 07-29-99 05:40 PM       View Profile for SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs   Email SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs


Unstable hours of play,
Remain untouched for eternity.
The air is stale.
But oh so free I feel!
Clattering in the distance
I no longer belong,
Yet my place remains open.
Moving through the grass,
The night is so peaceful.
Each picture I paint
Feels stronger then the next.
Carrying memories to be blocked,
I travel, yet remain plesantly amused.


I wrote this poem after comming to the realization that I have become very different from my friends. I changed high schools for a year and upon returning to their presence, they still accept me, though I am no longer the superficial person I was. I still love them dearly and hold no regrets, it's funny how people change.
© Copyright 1999 SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs - All Rights Reserved
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


1 posted 07-29-99 09:35 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Something I can really relate to...excellent job!!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"I will sail my vessel 'till the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky..." Garth Brooks

TheGreenPolarBear
Junior Member
since 05-23-99
Posts 41
Kansas


2 posted 07-29-99 11:23 PM       View Profile for TheGreenPolarBear   Email TheGreenPolarBear   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit TheGreenPolarBear's Home Page   View IP for TheGreenPolarBear

Yep, I like this one too. The imagery is really good. But maybe try something like "But oh how free I feel!" or "But oh I feel so free!" I think either of those would fit better, unless you had a specific reason for your word choice. I like the last line, "pleasently amused" is well placed. Definitely, good poem.

The Green Polar Bear
Princess Lily
Member
since 07-13-99
Posts 149
USA


3 posted 07-30-99 12:13 AM       View Profile for Princess Lily   Email Princess Lily   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Princess Lily

I liked it.Keep up the good work!~Lily

------------------
We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe

*A rose is a rose it withers and dies...so long as you keep it the memories stay alive*

Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


4 posted 07-30-99 12:25 AM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

As we get older we all change.What we think
is good today may not be what is good for
tomorrow. It's about growing as a person.
SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs
New Member
since 07-29-99
Posts 4


5 posted 07-30-99 03:52 PM       View Profile for SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs   Email SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for SpaRrkLe_GoDdeSs

thanx for the input.. i am really happy to know someone like me poem
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