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Passions in Poetry

Falling

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CSwtThng
Member
since 07-28-99
Posts 125


0 posted 07-28-99 06:52 PM       View Profile for CSwtThng   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for CSwtThng

I feel I'm falling down so low
Falling don't know where to go

In this darkness will I rise
Back up to their watchful eyes

Watching every move I make
I pray the lord my soul to take

To take me far away from here
To a place without such fear

I cannot fit this mold they've made
All these rules can't be obeyed

Someone please set me free
Can't they all let me be
© Copyright 1999 CSwtThng - All Rights Reserved
pusskatt
Junior Member
since 07-22-99
Posts 30
Austrralia


1 posted 07-28-99 07:01 PM       View Profile for pusskatt   Email pusskatt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for pusskatt

A dark one, I feel like this a lot.
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


2 posted 07-28-99 07:03 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Sometimes we all wish we could just be free, and not have to worry about anything. Nice job.
WhtDove
Member Rara Avis
since 07-22-99
Posts 9561
Illinois


3 posted 07-28-99 08:24 PM       View Profile for WhtDove   Email WhtDove   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit WhtDove's Home Page   View IP for WhtDove

I think you did a nice job. I also want to say thanks for your comment, I have faith in God. The poem was written for a friend.
If I may I would like to make a suggestion on the 2nd line here. Maybe "falling don't know where I'll go?" Just a sugestion. You have done a good job.
 
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