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Passions in Poetry

A Timid Goodbye

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blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


0 posted 07-28-99 04:59 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for blueloon

Last night I laid in bed,
I couldn't remember a word that you said.
Only the look on your face,
when I told you I needed space.

Your face went white,
your hands trembled with fright.
I've threatened you with so much pain,
my head has gone insaine.

I don't know what happended, but the last thing I knew,
my love hadn't grown for you.
I'm sorry for this,
But this was our last kiss.
© Copyright 1999 blueloon - All Rights Reserved
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


1 posted 07-28-99 10:47 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

*sigh*...breaking up is hard to do, even if you are the one to initiate it

------------------
I will live my life as i, will undoubtedly die - alone ~~~Morrissey~~~
nicnac8
Junior Member
since 07-28-99
Posts 46
New York, N.Y. USA


2 posted 07-28-99 11:15 PM       View Profile for nicnac8   Email nicnac8   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for nicnac8

Hey! Why did u wait until after you slept with him/her?
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


3 posted 07-28-99 11:47 PM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

I hope this is not real life...if it is, it is lame. Good poetry and interesting sentiment a sorry statement of commitment for real life. It sounds like the perpetrator doesn't really understand love.
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


4 posted 07-28-99 11:51 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

Man, I'd hate to be in love with you...if you broke my heart like that, I'd have to spank you !! Bad boy....(I hope you're a boy - I think you're a boy...)

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


5 posted 07-29-99 10:08 AM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

nicnac8...The person never slept with anyone in this poem....just merely fell out of love...INclan....it is sad that commitment can't always be the common goal in a relationship...Poet....I am sorry to dissapoint you I'm not a boy! Thank you for your contiuned feedback....Elvira...Thank you for kind words...
blueloon

[This message has been edited by blueloon (edited 07-29-99).]
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


6 posted 07-29-99 10:33 AM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Lady Blue

Your poem reminds me of the song by Bill Withers(?), "Use Me Up"(?), in which he sang, "You can keep on using me, until you use me up." It was a 70's song. It would be perfect as a response to your poem. :-)
 
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