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Passions in Poetry

This poem is only for men! (No girls allowed) ;)

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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


0 posted 07-27-99 02:18 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for LngJhnAg

Creation
Long John

One day in the Garden of Eden,
Adam was feeling sorry for himself.
"I wish I wasn't so lonely,"
"I wish there was somebody else."

God happened to overhear him,
And decided to answer his plea.
"Adam, I'll bless your wishes,
And send somebody heavenly."

"Who is it, God?" Adam cried,
Will he be somebody I can talk to?
"He won't be a he, Adam.
I'm sending a woman to you."

"A woman?" Adam anxiously queried,
"Please, God, tell me all you can."
God replied with infinite patience,
"She's my gift to the world of man."

"She's sublime in her appearance,
She's a creature of lovely grace.
She'll never have a cross word for you,
She'll be heaven on this Earthly place."

"She'll be witty and intelligent,
She'll love sports and make home brew.
She'll give you lovin' whenever you want,.
There's nothing she won't do for you."

"Wow!" exclaimed joyful Adam.
"She sounds great. How much do I pay?"
God replied, "There's the rub, Adam.
She'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Tho' this dampened Adam's spirit.
He replied, without being glib,
"I'll tell you what, dear Father,
What can I get for a rib?"
© Copyright 1999 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


1 posted 07-27-99 02:27 PM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

Sorry I just had to read,you got the best of
my curiosity.Even woman have a sense of humor.I got a good laugh.Thank you.
r. baker33
Member
since 07-03-99
Posts 55
glen easton wv


2 posted 07-27-99 02:31 PM       View Profile for r. baker33   Email r. baker33   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit r. baker33's Home Page   View IP for r. baker33

cool beans.I LIKED IT! nuff said.
White Fang
New Member
since 07-27-99
Posts 8


3 posted 07-27-99 02:32 PM       View Profile for White Fang   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for White Fang

Interesting...

------------------
Timberwolf
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 07-27-99 02:42 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

An old joke that will run forever. You did a good job putting it in poetic form.
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


5 posted 07-27-99 03:20 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

I'll admit to never having heard the joke. Thanks for the laugh. Well done.
Nicole
Senior Member
since 06-23-99
Posts 1896
Florida


6 posted 07-27-99 03:21 PM       View Profile for Nicole   Email Nicole   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Nicole

You piqued my curiosity, and I got a good chuckle out of this one!
poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


7 posted 07-27-99 03:31 PM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

I'm as "girly" as they come, but because you told me not to look, I did !! Great use of reverse psychology there! I really got a bang out of it !!

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


8 posted 07-27-99 03:34 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Thank you, one and all - I find it an interesting diversion to take an old story, clean it up if necessary, and then convert it to a poem, such that the punch line is in the last line. Gawwwwd! The things I do for fun around here! Just shoot me!
blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


9 posted 07-27-99 03:35 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

Because I am a woman, my curiosity got the best of me...and well as you know...I looked and laughed or should I say giggle.
blueloon
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


10 posted 07-27-99 03:53 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

blue

You should see the poem I wrote in counter to this one - unfortunately, good manners dictates that I not post it here. It has something to do with the last two blessings God gave Adam and Eve.
blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


11 posted 07-27-99 04:00 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

Later I will search for the other poem...when I have more time I will read more of your lines for they have captured my inner rhyme..who needs manners sometimes?
blueloon

PS: Read my "stream of digits" poem I think that you would like it!

[This message has been edited by blueloon (edited 07-27-99).]
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


12 posted 07-27-99 04:03 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Blue

Its a shade off-color, and I am avoiding the Adult Board like it was plague-ridden (which it would be if I got in there - lol). I know there are some people on here who may be offended with something off-color, and so, out of respect for them, I must decline (darnit).
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


13 posted 07-27-99 04:28 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

a woman not a girl am i...so i figured i'd stop by

remember Adam's first true love? Lilith was her name
she was the independent one, and didn't play his game
and when she left him, thus avoiding the bible's fame
poor Adam asked for another, he couldn't face the shame
if God's creation truly failed, i ask you, who's to blame?
as Adam couldn't get enough, and requested much the same


my usual comeback to your joke, if you don't mind LngJhnAg, is:
God created man, then took a closer look
he couldn't believe he'd done so wrong
and once again looked in his holy book
God created woman, he truly felt quite pleased
such great deed accomplished, his work he ceased


------------------
Tu, cosi lontano, seppure ormai, cosi vicino. ~~~Andrea Bocelli~~~
LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


14 posted 07-27-99 04:35 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

elvira

harummphhh... I've never been so insulted (this is a blatant lie, but lil elvira can't read these thoughts in parentheses, so I might convince her its the truth and get some extra strokes). Please apologize immediately so my male ego won't be destroyed.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 07-27-99).]
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


15 posted 07-27-99 07:12 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Is all female, but loved it anyway. Very funny...thanks, I needed the laugh!!

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Princess Lily
Member
since 07-13-99
Posts 149
USA


16 posted 07-27-99 11:11 PM       View Profile for Princess Lily   Email Princess Lily   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Princess Lily

I am a woman, but as I'm sure you knew when you posted this we'd all take a glance.very cute.

------------------
We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe


LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


17 posted 07-27-99 11:30 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Why! I can't believe you've violated,
This manly place of rest.
And seen fit to come in here,
Where I thought it best,
That your softer senses
should never be exposed,
To the manly humor I've written
In my manly prose.

Thank you, just the same, all of you lovely creatures.
blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


18 posted 07-27-99 11:37 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

A lovely creature I asure you I am...had to laugh before I slept so I thought I'd open to this very joke!
blueloon

p/s: "stream of digits" is in this forum!
 
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