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name?

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deannamarie
Junior Member
since 07-26-99
Posts 44
WI


0 posted 07-27-99 08:28 AM       View Profile for deannamarie   Email deannamarie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for deannamarie

Can you give me your ideas for revisions or a name?

Sometimes I don't feel
you're giving all you got
show me someting either way
and I'll know if I should stop
I'm begging to get closer
but something pushes me back
I want to believe what you say
but something seems to lack
Sometimes it seems to me
you couldn't live without me here
but sometimes it seems to me
you don't see me pulling you near
All these things I want to say
but I know I'll never tell
you say I'm the one you want
but you didn't notice that I fell
Somehow you need to show
because your love is hard to see
oh, yes, I know that you care
but you mean much more to me
I don't think you understand
exactly what I'm trying to say
just tell me we're both here
and I promise I'll never stray
© Copyright 1999 deannamarie - All Rights Reserved
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


1 posted 07-27-99 08:47 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

there is a "Critical Analysis" forum if you seek honest, constructive criticism Welcome deannamarie...

------------------
If I had my mouth I would bite.
If I had my liberty I would do my liking.
In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~
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