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Passions in Poetry

Eternal sleep...

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poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 07-25-99
Posts 2961
Arkansas


0 posted 07-27-99 01:58 AM       View Profile for poetFemmeFatale   Email poetFemmeFatale   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for poetFemmeFatale

My soul's exploding with darkest hue -
A raging sea - my time here...through.
My dreams are shattered...
As though it mattered.
To close my eyes with eternal dream -
To walk along a crystal stream...
To just feel love...
From God above.
No one could ever heal my soul
No one could ever make me whole -
Please let me sleep...
Eternal deep.


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- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

© Copyright 1999 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved
Masked Intruder
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since 05-23-99
Posts 1412
Near golden sunsets


1 posted 07-31-99 02:32 PM       View Profile for Masked Intruder   Email Masked Intruder   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Masked Intruder

Well metered and rhymed, nicely expressed, though there are one or two extraneous lines that if I were writing I would leave out. i.e. Line #4 (I don't understand it's significance, but that could just be a personal problem of mine.)

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Even with a lot of imagination, does it make the story less true?
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


2 posted 07-31-99 07:06 PM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

Beautiful poem.Happy writing.
Alwye
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Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


3 posted 07-31-99 09:27 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

So very vivid...and so expressive. Keep it up!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"I will sail my vessel 'till the river runs dry, like a bird upon the wind, these waters are my sky..." Garth Brooks


Elizabeth
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-07-99
Posts 7296
America the beautiful


4 posted 07-31-99 09:41 PM       View Profile for Elizabeth   Email Elizabeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Elizabeth's Home Page   View IP for Elizabeth

You'v done another great job, poetFemmeFatale! It's a great expression of how so many of us have felt at one time or another. Thank you.
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