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Open Poetry #1
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poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas

0 posted 1999-07-27 12:35 PM


A dream can be big - or a dream can be small,
Just like shadows seem so large -
when they dance across my wall...
In my land of everlasting -
there are stars up in my sky...
But my stars begin to fall -
as my eyes begin to cry.

Life has introduced a monster -
welling up within my soul...
And with every passing day,
he tries to make that hole -
A little larger down inside me -
for it's there I keep my dreams -
They're spilling out & gushing forth...
I'm tearing at the seams!

This body I inhabit is incoherant & corrupt -
So please don't put it past me -
because I can "self-destruct."
My mind is always burning -
and my soul is always free...
My eyes are always willing -
to see what they can see.

The rain begins to fall - as I lay this body down -
Lightning strikes - the thunder rolls -
the moon looks with a frown...
"To hell" with what's behind me -
and "to hell" with what's ahead...
If I don't like what approaches -
I'll pretend I'm good as dead.

Life can try & chain me down -
keep my wings from setting sail...
And at first it may succeed, but let me tell you -
I won't fail...
To sail away to everlasting -
just as soon as I break free...
Winds will blow me to forever -
where I'll live eternally....


------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


© Copyright 1999 Gennifer David - All Rights Reserved
Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
1 posted 1999-07-27 12:40 PM


If only I could be this good.You have a very
special talent.

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
2 posted 1999-07-27 01:00 AM


Wow...I am breathless. This is extremely wonderful, poetFemmeFatale.

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"It's a crazy thing, fate has perfect wings..."-Deanna Carter

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
3 posted 1999-08-15 12:03 PM


Alwye, you and I are so much alike, I'm afraid it's spooky! I always enjoy reading your replies, thanks to you both!

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration
4 posted 1999-08-15 01:40 AM


Ok ok, now my keyboard is completely drenched and I hear it crackling... but I don't CARE!!!
This is one of your best pieces (that I've read) PFF. I love (figuratively) the pain you emit, and the rythm just slides you along and draws you in deep.

BRAVO BRAVO

(I must admit surprise at how few responses, but I guess the greates creators of the world are never truly recognized until they're dead...but I hope not for you!)

------------------
...the things I did not know at first, I learned by doing twice.
-Billy Joel

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
5 posted 1999-08-15 01:57 AM


Oh Christopher, you are too kind as usual.....bless you - bless you....I'll buy you a new keyboard... Your comments mean so much....

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
6 posted 1999-08-16 03:56 PM


This is excellent. I truly enjoy all your work! Thank you for posting this powerful piece.

------------------
"Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." *Mark Twain*

Mark R.
Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 113
San Francisco, CA.
7 posted 1999-08-17 04:26 AM



Truely excellent, however, dreams lead us to our subconscious, opening up doors we never knew existed....allowing us to grow both strong and bright. Just keep believing and you too will find the strength to spread your wings and allow the winds of nature to guide you wherever you may desire....

caroline
Senior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 1218
http://members.xoom.com/belladona123/index.htm
8 posted 1999-08-17 05:09 AM


A poem that shows hope and determination, no matter what is ahead or behind. It has a good rhythym and a nice open feel to it, and shares the hope with the reader. Good work :-)

------------------
The only man worth your tears will never make you cry...

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
9 posted 1999-08-17 11:06 AM


Thank you all for your great interest in this piece - it is one that was very personal when I wrote it....and it still means alot to me today.....Your comments reassure me of it's worthiness....**kisses

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
10 posted 1999-08-17 11:19 AM


Femme

This poem jerked me in a couple different directions. At first I thought it was about resignation and being in a forlorn state. Then, you twisted it just a little and it became a poem of hope. The "good as dead" line threw me a curve - it seemed you were laying down and quitting because you had no hope for the future. Now, upon more reflection, it seems you may have been saying that you can let those feelings slide by (oppossum-like) and keep on your own path toward happiness and love. Have I gotten this right?

I really liked the flow of the third stanza.

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
11 posted 1999-08-17 01:54 PM


You hit it right on the nose - and what an accurate hitter you are !! Sure would hate to wrestle you! I'm flattered you read into a piece so deep, most just skim over it if it requires too much effort - much appreciated! Your truly....Gen (I've been guilty of skimming...meant no offense to anyone!)

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 1999-08-18 11:56 PM


Femme.... absolutley brilliant, I loved it
One day I hope I will be able to write as you do.

DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

13 posted 1999-08-19 07:42 AM


Anything I say will only echo every sentiment above, so ditto, my dear.

On a more personal note, you have a delightful way of blowing minds.

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
14 posted 1999-08-19 09:08 AM


PFF,
Don't cry
Don't sigh
Don't fly.
I like your poems too much.

sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568
Oklahoma City, OK, USA
15 posted 1999-08-19 09:55 AM


The human soul is vulnerable but also has a strength and resilience that is beyond compare. You have captured all beautifully...
sail on lovely lady and look for me on the other side...

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
16 posted 1999-08-19 10:51 AM


Aahh Sea, thank you kind sir....I've been enjoying your stuff in Adult this a.m.....KEEP WRITING!

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
17 posted 1999-08-19 01:18 PM


poetFemmeFatale, I am gonna stand here and echo off the walls, for the sentiments expressed here, are all so very true. Excellent Job.
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