Member Rara Avis
America the beautiful
Well, since you asked for critique, I think in the last two lines of the 2nd verse, it would flow better if you said something like: And begs of all the angels,
"Come, take my soul to keep!" Or something along the lines of that. Then in the 3rd verse, how about, "If you won't give your love to me, I'll never become whole."
Sorry, didn't mean to rip it to bits. Other than that, this is a wonderful poem that I can really relate to. It well describes a situation I have been placed in. *sigh*