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Passions in Poetry

More Morning Musings

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DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


0 posted 07-24-99 05:04 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

My hate
and rage
has risen tonight,
crawled
it's way out
of my pit.
Something happened
to kill my delight,
I'm trying to
express it.

I hate men
for how
they treat women,
women deserve
so much more.
I hate women
for how
they treat me,
as something
they should abhor.

Even
those women
I call my friends,
in some ways
just do not care.
Their friendship
it seems
really depends,
on constant
dramatic flare.

I want to be loved
for being me,
not a puppet
on a string.
The strain
is unbearable
you see,
soon
I'll be
a broken thing.

©1999 DreamEvil

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©


© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
~one voice~
Senior Member
since 07-08-99
Posts 668
Billings, MT USA


1 posted 07-24-99 05:08 AM       View Profile for ~one voice~   Email ~one voice~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~one voice~

I will make sure that I handle you carefully...for you are special to me you see... I would never want to harm you...physically, or emotionally...

------------------
~onevoice~

"I never kissed somebody so that they would break my heart."

elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


2 posted 07-24-99 07:45 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

indeed, it is an inate need of everyone to be taken at face value, and, alas, it so rarely happens.....well i am knackered and must be off to bed

------------------
If I had my mouth I would bite.
If I had my liberty I would do my liking.
In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-24-99).]
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


3 posted 07-24-99 08:21 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

You expressed your feelings very well. Sometimes we need to rise above the confict to see it in a different light. Just a thought here, I am not condeming you. I have come to enjoy your writing very much, and feel you have a wonderful talent.
Dragon
Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 139
Highmount,NY ,USA


4 posted 07-24-99 11:30 AM       View Profile for Dragon   Email Dragon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dragon

As I have said before...you are truly blessed ....I love you for who you are....well done.
quote99
Junior Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 18
US


5 posted 07-24-99 11:48 AM       View Profile for quote99   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for quote99

Enjoyed this one. Thanks.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


6 posted 07-24-99 03:04 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

I'm sure.
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


7 posted 07-24-99 04:01 PM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Your sentiment is appreciated (being a woman who would like to be treated well by a man). I especially liked: "My hate/and rage/has risen tonight/crawled/it's way out/ of my pit". The placement of the word "crawled" as a line unto itself is very well executed. That entire stanza, IMHO, is excellent. The second stanza seems more like you are "telling" your audience instead of "showing" your audience. Your point is well taken, though, and to me, that overrides any critical comments I could have about construction. (I'm only critiquing because I was reading the thread in another forum about your opinion on poetry.... and I thought my comments here would be appreciated).

Anyway, DE, nice work. And thanks for letting me see into your soul with my PERIscope. hehehe dp
Sweet T
Member
since 06-14-99
Posts 65
mesa, arizona maricopa


8 posted 07-24-99 08:29 PM       View Profile for Sweet T   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sweet T

Very well put, my dear. Women listen up we need to start treating our men like they are mindless savages. There are a few good ones left. Dreamevil baby I know you are one of them.

.close your eyes and look for love in mine.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


9 posted 07-25-99 01:34 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Thanks again.
Ominous
Member
since 07-04-99
Posts 68
Canada


10 posted 07-25-99 02:10 AM       View Profile for Ominous   Email Ominous   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ominous

A well spoken piece.
There are some women out there that will never intentionally hurt you. I being one.
You have become very dear to me.

Thank you for your inspiration.

------------------
I am but a shadow, lost within this world of darkness
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


11 posted 07-25-99 12:47 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Means alot to me.
Colin
Senior Member
since 06-05-99
Posts 612
Callington, Cornwall, England


12 posted 07-26-99 02:22 AM       View Profile for Colin   Email Colin   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Colin

I read this for the first time this morning, it having been "swallowed" in the midst of other poems. Well done! Taking your emotions and writing about them honestly AND ending up with a good poem at the end of it is often hard to do, but you've managed it.
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