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Dark Sonnet2

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DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


0 posted 07-24-99 03:38 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Seeing her sleeping, Walt got out of bed.
He knew she was cheating on him anew.
The lover meant nothing, that's what she said.
Elisa was unaware that he knew.

It was the letter he found that damned her.
The letter spoke of a forbidden love.
When Walt found it, madness began to stir.
The answer hit like a bolt from above.

He laid his sharpest blade against her throat.
Whispering softly, Walt said, "Elisa?"
With smiling face, he says, "I read the note."
Slicing with the knife, he bends to kiss her.

Poor Walt, for killing his wife on a whim.
He didn't know it was written for him.


©1999 DreamEvil

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©


© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
~one voice~
Senior Member
since 07-08-99
Posts 668
Billings, MT USA


1 posted 07-24-99 05:13 AM       View Profile for ~one voice~   Email ~one voice~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~one voice~

Dream, as you know, I truly love this piece! I just wish the ending didn't sink in my heart!

------------------
~onevoice~

"I never kissed somebody so that they would break my heart."

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


2 posted 07-24-99 08:32 AM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

How frightful, and sad, yet very moving.
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


3 posted 07-24-99 09:11 AM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

This is well written but so warped. I beg you to apply your obvious talent to the other side of the coin....
Dragon
Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 139
Highmount,NY ,USA


4 posted 07-24-99 11:27 AM       View Profile for Dragon   Email Dragon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dragon

WOW!Very Powerful! You have done it once again!!
quote99
Junior Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 18
US


5 posted 07-24-99 11:41 AM       View Profile for quote99   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for quote99

While well written, I find the subject disturbing. Your "mythical" type poetry is much better than this. You give the impression, since it's the woman who gets killed in your sonnets, that you do not respect women. This can't be true as you have also done a tribute to the women here. This is just my opinion.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


6 posted 07-24-99 03:01 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Don't worry, the odds are that I will not write another, for this forum anyway.
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


7 posted 07-24-99 05:54 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

hey umm just wonderin but ummm yuh plannin killin my wife huh?
Sweet T
Member
since 06-14-99
Posts 65
mesa, arizona maricopa


8 posted 07-24-99 08:26 PM       View Profile for Sweet T   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sweet T

Hey is it not funny how the human mind is quick to jump to conclusions. If we all would learn how to ask questions first then "kill" later the world would be a better place. lol...........


The world without love grows cold....
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


9 posted 07-25-99 01:32 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Exactly the point of this piece! Someone notices it at least.
doreen peri
Member Rara Avis
since 05-25-99
Posts 8028
Virginia


10 posted 07-25-99 08:50 AM       View Profile for doreen peri   Email doreen peri   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for doreen peri

Ouch! Geez.... couldn't you have asked who that note was for? And all the while, she was hoping he didn't find the other one.... good grief ~~

Interesting piece, m'friend.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


11 posted 07-25-99 12:50 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

By commission, Doreen.
Ominous
Member
since 07-04-99
Posts 68
Canada


12 posted 07-26-99 03:46 AM       View Profile for Ominous   Email Ominous   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ominous

Such a great piece. So scary, yet it is that way because it is real, and it happens.


------------------
I am but a shadow, lost within this world of darkness
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