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Passions in Poetry

Diary of a Cyber-Stud

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Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


0 posted 07-23-99 01:32 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

Alone in my room, I sit in my chair,
I'm wearing Obsession and Mousse in my hair,
I never admit I've not one single friend,
'cause I'm the life of the party in this cyber den.

In the real world I smell, and can never emote,
I cough on my words, I'm too young to vote,
I'm chubby and pimply, I'm rude and I'm crass,
and the only thing rippled is my pox-ridden ass.

I can't talk to women, I don't talk to girls,
when I try my large belly does back-flips and whirls,
Of sex I know nothing, and may never learn,
'cause pa found my skin-books and "Hustler" did burn.

I'm scared of my shadow, and still suck my thumb,
it's red and it's swollen, perpetually numb.
But with my trusty modem, I can quickly log-on
to a world full of ladies who call me "Hot-Don,"

Old Don's quite a player, a swinger, and a stud,
and, unlike me, won't vomit at the first sign of blood.
He's smooth with the ladies, his tongue is quite loose
He resembles a hybrid of Apollo and Zeus.

He's charming and witty, and really rich too,
and, unlike me, completed that Grade Number 2.
He chats with them coyly while I try if I can,
to go about my business and type with one hand.

My current liason is with 'HotBabyJane,'
A woman who, strangly, remembles "Seinfeld's" Elaine,
Oh how it would pain me to suddenly know,
that Jane's a fat barber from New Mexico.

Our writing is steamy but quickly it ends,
"Jane" (real name Maxwell) is gonna to miss "Friends"
I'm secretly sad, and mistakenly blurt,
"Man you chicks bug me, MY REAL NAME IS BERT!"

The night quickly passes, by morning I've found,
I've developed a longing for "Spot", my greyhound,
I should probably sleep soon, while partially sane,
but by midnight I'll be looking for "HotBabyJane."


------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
Please Click Here to Visit our Web Site
ICQ: 44370408



[This message has been edited by Poetwheel (edited 07-23-99).]
© Copyright 1999 Poetwheel - All Rights Reserved
INclan
Senior Member
since 07-20-99
Posts 1046
Indiana, USA


1 posted 07-23-99 01:43 PM       View Profile for INclan   Email INclan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for INclan

Its filthy....I like it. I was impressed with the "pox-ridden ass." Sadly, I know people like this. Thank you for sharing.
KTrail99
Junior Member
since 07-15-99
Posts 14


2 posted 07-23-99 01:45 PM       View Profile for KTrail99   Email KTrail99   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for KTrail99

Sadly I used to be a person like this. Good work.
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


3 posted 07-23-99 01:53 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

tiz might be many who will say poet i know this ole hurt but know this mr wheel i feel for ole bert
blueloon
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 166
NY


4 posted 07-23-99 02:06 PM       View Profile for blueloon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for blueloon

Quite amusing I must say...I laughed and cried the whole way...Hopefully Bert will find someone someday!
blueloon
Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 05-19-99
Posts 9708
Michigan, US


5 posted 07-23-99 03:33 PM       View Profile for Ron   Email Ron   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ron's Home Page   View IP for Ron

I'm not sure I agree with INclan that's it's "filthy," but it is (again) pushing the envelope. Maybe we should just confine you to the Adult Forum, PW? It's much easier to type there with just one hand...
Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


6 posted 07-23-99 04:29 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

Ron,

I am sorry that the poems have been a little risque lately. I would rather change subject matter than change forums so we will ease of on the inuendo etc..

PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


7 posted 07-23-99 04:38 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

told you your "naughty spiel" would soon get you banned, dear Poetwheel ...if you have time, check out my "chat" rhyme...or perhaps you'd like to meet a friend of mine, her name is Jane, you can find her in the poem "plain" ...always a riot to read your works, but stay in this forum so we'll get the perks

------------------
If I had my mouth I would bite.
If I had my liberty I would do my liking.
In the mean time, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me. ~~~Shakespeare~~~



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-23-99).]
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


8 posted 07-23-99 04:49 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Poor Wheel is posting in the wrong forum..
This is the one with proper decorum.
You can always come over and join all us sinners
But here it is still two hands for beginners.
Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


9 posted 07-23-99 04:59 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

These strong reprimands,
Have idled my hands,
I truly did mean no abuse.

I'll _strive_ so that hence,
There'll be no more offense,
than a poem by good Mother Goose.

PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


10 posted 07-23-99 05:05 PM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

LOL, great!! Sadly, I know a few people like this...great job!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"It's a crazy thing, fate has perfect wings..."-Deanna Carter
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


11 posted 07-23-99 05:07 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

There you go again.......goose!
Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


12 posted 07-23-99 05:10 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

Hey Balladeer,

You would not believe how hard that made me laugh.

I've no witty comment, just genuine guffaws!

PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408



[This message has been edited by Poetwheel (edited 07-23-99).]
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


13 posted 07-23-99 06:34 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

oh....mother
IsabelleSkye
Member
since 06-27-99
Posts 262


14 posted 07-23-99 11:35 PM       View Profile for IsabelleSkye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for IsabelleSkye

oh how did I miss this GEM of "Hot Cyber Love" woooohoooo this was a riot!
*giggling my way out the door*
Izzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy
(how'd I do typing one-handed? J/K!!!)
*angelic grin*
(clank....oops DANG halo keeps fallin off)
c-ya!

------------------
"I would rather sit on a pumpkin, and have it all to myself,
than to be crowded on a velvet cushion."
.....Henry David Thoreau
Princess Lily
Member
since 07-13-99
Posts 149
USA


15 posted 07-26-99 11:51 PM       View Profile for Princess Lily   Email Princess Lily   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Princess Lily

Actually thinking there are people like this makes me cry...for they should not lie...to be yourself is a wonderful thing...cause only with yourself life will bring...happiness.Great work

------------------
We see only what we want to see~unless perhaps~we believe


Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


16 posted 07-27-99 02:14 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

Thanks all for the praise but I feel I must point out that this poem was NOT confessional in nature....

My name is NOT Bert!!!!!

PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 07-23-99
Posts 3654
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion


17 posted 07-27-99 02:33 PM       View Profile for LngJhnAg   Email LngJhnAg   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LngJhnAg

Dear I'm-Not-Bert,

Your poem struck in me a disturbing note,
I'm from New Mexico, just like you wrote.
My neighbor's ugly, so he can't be blamed,
For assuming the identity of HotBabyJane.

Now, me, I'm particular about who I woo,
While "Jane" ain't so picky, I'm telling you.
He brags that he's found hot cyber love,
Could it be you who he dreams of???

You seem like a nice guy, and kinda straight,
So I thought I'd warn you, I think "Jane" ain't!
He's desperately seeking a mail order bride,
But he'll take ol' "Hot Don" if he happens by.

[This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 07-27-99).]
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


18 posted 07-27-99 03:36 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Laugh... Laugh... Laugh...
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


19 posted 07-27-99 07:27 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Am sitting here rolling on the floor laughing my....off, anyway, very funny piece of work.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
 
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