Billings, MT USA
Today I broke out in a fit of laughter,
because I could not cry any more.
I pointed my finger, and you left me...
You walked right out the door.
Now, I know I have pedantic tendencies,
and my fits of mania are way up there...
You know I never mean them...
You think that I don't care...
but I do...
Today I broke out in a sweat
at the thought of leaving you.
It was 72 degrees outside,
and I did not know what to do.
So I sat down at my CPU...
began writing you...
You hurt me with your fits of rage and icy, piercing words.
And then you leave things be and there is nothing to be heard.
You don't go when I say, 'leave;' you won't leave me alone.
Your hatred makes my sorrow and eats its way in to my bones.
You hurt me more than words can say, and this one thought is true.
I never know where I should turn, if I should stay, or, should I leave you?
Where are the vows you promised me? When did we lose our way?
And why won't you just work with me? That might be why I stay...
I'm hoping that some time you might just let me in your soul.
Perhaps, you'll even make our life your most important goal."
and then I went on to say
in a most delicate way...
"You embrace the wreckage of all my shattered dreams.
You kiss me only for the pleasure to stifle all my screams.
You carve me up in pieces and then you eat me whole,
never leaving room inside for a constant, loving soul.
Your main concern is vengeance; revenge upon the damned.
And my love, you know this, for damned is what I am.
You pay no heed to all the anguish that I am battling each day.
All I ever wanted was your light to guide my way.
Now, it's only dark here...I don't know you any more.
My love, there is no score to settle when we aren't waging any war."
I signed the letter,
"Love Always, for worse or better..."
I sealed it tight,
gave it to you,
and told you good-night.
"I never kissed somebody so that they would break my heart."
[This message has been edited by ~one voice~ (edited 07-21-99).]