Butt Pirates on the 7 Seas

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Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

0 posted 1999-07-21 12:11 PM

As a boy I'd dream, as boys will do
of treasures bright and oceans blue

so now a man, I've earned my berth
to sail the sea, across the earth

but to my chagrin, I soon did learn
a life that made my stomach turn

these sailors were, to my dismay
Butt Pirates dressed in lingerie!

Alone I could not put asunder
-my booty they would often plunder

And OH What sickness in my gut
-they were redefining scuttlebutt

The Captain made me pull his rank
and make me ride (not walk) his plank

I slowly turned a nervous wreck
as they made me swab their collective deck

Not bearded men with hooks of steel
they wore a skirt, and shoe with heel

I dreaded disease, and filth and wart
as they each would dock inside my port

In times in battle, foes we face
them dressed in armor, we dressed in lace

And I'll find myself in their arms again
for the seas can do strange things to men

I salute my ship as she sways and rocks
The Captain and his lovely cox

In lingerie we ride the breeze
Butt Pirates on the seven seas

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Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

1 posted 1999-07-21 12:17 PM

oh my...

...i wonder what design was on their flag?...as always, you are simply hilarious

------------------
one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...eight short weeks...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...the mistress...stolen hours... devotion...Master...apart...

Ohme
Senior Member

since 1999-07-17

Posts 816
Texas

2 posted 1999-07-21 12:27 PM

Delightful, and how does one book that cruise?

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

3 posted 1999-07-21 12:31 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! No poem gets more hilarious than this one! All this time, I KNEW you were a little dinghy!

Ron

Administrator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-05-19

Posts 8669
Michigan, US

4 posted 1999-07-21 01:16 AM

This is, indeed, very funny, PW. But I think you've meandered just a bit over the line and would suggest that future postings of this nature would be better suited to the Adult forum.

Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

5 posted 1999-07-21 07:17 AM

Thanks for you comments guys! Ron-I'll be mindful of future postings.
PW

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Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

mia
Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 118

6 posted 1999-07-21 07:37 AM

I'm making it a must to read one of your poems first each morning... Then I can start my long day with a smile on my face.

keep up the craziness PW... You rock!

xxoo
mia

Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

7 posted 1999-07-21 07:41 AM

This may be a shameless plug,
but Mia, I DO DECLARE!!!

Why not visit, our web page,
and leave us a message there.

PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

mia
Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 118

8 posted 1999-07-21 08:03 AM

PW, my dear
I can't I fear
for I understand not
how to access the spot!

(god, my rhyming sucks!)

I wish I could go, I tried, but I'm so new at this whole computer business that I have no idea what I am looking for...or how exactly to get there.
I'll keep trying...

I'm looking forward to reading more...
cus you my friend are crazy to the core!

mia

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

9 posted 1999-07-21 08:07 AM

tiz makes me want to throw my melancholy ways out the door and try uneffectively to ape your style mister wheel you are alot to live up too

Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

10 posted 1999-07-21 01:59 PM

Thanks wayoutwalt, you are all that and a bag of chips.
PW

Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

[This message has been edited by Poetwheel (edited 07-21-99).]

Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

11 posted 1999-07-21 03:07 PM

Thanks!
PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

[This message has been edited by Poetwheel (edited 07-21-99).]

Rita
Member

since 1999-07-19

Posts 55
Danville Va. 24540

12 posted 1999-07-21 05:59 PM

ships ahoy! anchors away....job well done is it what i'll say!!

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite

since 1999-06-20

Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow

13 posted 1999-07-21 06:06 PM

If the laughter stops, then maybe I can type
to tell you what a great job you've done. I have to say you have a brilliant talent. Thanks for sharing with us.

Andrew Scott
Member Elite

since 1999-06-24

Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA

14 posted 1999-07-21 06:15 PM

So much for taking that Princess Cruise this summer.

Your talent is unparalleled.

Red Letter
Member

since 1999-05-24

Posts 85
Allentown, PA

15 posted 1999-07-21 08:08 PM

Just wondered how you managed
'pon the rock of every wave
you never once did knick yourself
when that wooden leg you'd shave?

Or how it was your lingerie
stayed Woolite fresh and new
when all you had was salt water
among Victoria's Secret Crew?

Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

16 posted 1999-08-09 08:01 AM

I moved this one to the top in honor of LngJhnAg.

Simply because, after looking at the name for a good 5 minutes, it finally occurred to me. *smack self*

Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle of wine spritzer.

PW

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Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

17 posted 1999-08-09 10:15 AM

Poetwheel - this was an outrageous poem that slanders the good name of every swashbuckling seadog... and I laughed myself silly trying to get through it. Great work. (Incidently, I hate lingerie because it gets in the way of spontaneous lovemaking - especially when I'm alone.)

Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

18 posted 1999-08-09 10:17 AM

LngJhnAg,

Might I suggest crotchless underpants....or as us laymen know them...socks.

PW

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Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

19 posted 1999-08-09 10:19 AM

Poetwheel: Just how long have you known LongJohn anyway? *G*

tori
Senior Member

since 1999-06-18

Posts 520
Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA

20 posted 1999-08-09 01:46 PM

hahahha Great job..!!
This has put the smile in my day!!

Thinking in laughter is the best!!
_________________________________________________________________________________________
If with pen in hand I've made you think
I've not wasted one drop of ink
vlh.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

21 posted 1999-08-09 02:06 PM

Geesch! Balladeer's recruiting Poetwheel? Now I've gotta walk around all day with intimidation written all over my face?.....I hope you know how hurt I am....after all the praise and good tidings I've offered you?....The compliments, the envy..etc. etc. etc......some people have no appreciation or manners what-so-ever?.....Being the quiet, shy, reserved, and nice fella I am, I guess I'll just have grin and bear it.....but I do want ya to know how "hurt" I am.......At least I've still got Longjohn....right?....LongJohn?...Ummm, you and me....right man?....We're buddies?..Right?....LongJohn?

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

22 posted 1999-08-09 02:14 PM

Toerag: LJA's busy grinning and baring it! LOL.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

23 posted 1999-08-09 02:27 PM

Poetwheel, don't ya know?
Crotchless panties on LongJohn wouldn't show?
Cuz he's got nothing to put in it,
So they'd be a perfect fit.

Now we all know what LongJohn wears,
Underneathe his Levis' there,
It's a jock strap I hear tell,
A rubberband and peanut shell.

Poetwheel
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 208
Canada

24 posted 1999-08-09 02:50 PM

Thank you all for taking the time to remark on this little treasure...though it was written in well under 10 minutes it has yielded hours of pleaseure to me...thanks!

PW

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Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

25 posted 1999-08-09 02:58 PM

In all seriousness PW...(one of my rare times by the way), this was a classic fersure!

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

26 posted 1999-08-10 01:18 AM

hey Poetwheel...i just learned my purple knickers are sailing the seven seas...now i am not surprised you see, for last night i felt the breeze

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one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...your countenance...eight short weeks...My One and Only...Music to my Ears...hoarse whispers...What will it be?...just watching tv...break my heart...are you ready?...Feel the need?...serving wench...Tribute to M.J....take a guess...sink or swim...stolen hours...the mistress...Perfection...a little girl...Mr. Jones...
life is like...insomnia...devotion...too soon...07-20-69...craving...Master...chat?...apart...plain...hush...then...vice...shameless self promotion

Alwye

Moderator

Member Elite

since 1999-06-16

Posts 3850
In the space between moments

27 posted 1999-08-10 01:33 AM

ROTFLOL!!!!!! This is great!!! What a laugh!!

------------------
*Krista Knutson*

"Your kiss upon my face feels like a brush with grace, baby thats all it takes to take me higher..." SHeDaisy

Crystal
Member

since 1999-07-24

Posts 62
Hazel Park Mi U.S.A.

28 posted 1999-08-11 01:22 AM

gross and very disgusting.

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