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Open Poetry #1
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Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas

0 posted 1999-07-20 06:44 PM


Repast

Close behind me,
I heard its restless rustle
and offered it starvation.
Yet it would feed on me.
I let it dine.

There beside me,
I failed to hear the seething
of bubbles of elixir
and I did drink my fill
of perfect wine.

Now before me,
are only dirty dishes
and food that has no flavor
inviting me to sup
another time.

While within me
I feel an endless hunger
to feast upon and savor
bounty from a table
I never find.

© Copyright 1999 Lorene Meadows - All Rights Reserved
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
1 posted 1999-07-20 07:09 PM


I'm reading something here, but I'm not sure what it is. My first impression is vampiric, but even that doesn't feel right. I like it, but I just can't put my finger on what "it" is. A little help in understanding the deeper meaning if you please. Thanks.
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 1999-07-20 07:17 PM


I agree....vampiric in nature...and beautifully haunting.
elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
3 posted 1999-07-20 07:21 PM


...hm...i thought it was about a void in the soul that we are all trying to fill...then again, perhaps i am wrong?

------------------
one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...eight short weeks...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...the mistress...stolen hours ...devotion...Master...apart...


Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
4 posted 1999-07-20 07:28 PM


Sorry, Andrew, Perhaps I need to work on it further so it will have more clarity. The positions of 'it' changes over time. Think of 'it' as a relationship.
In the past it gnaws and is irritating.

Beside was to symbolize the good times of the relationship, when the wine was perfect.

Now the relationship is over, dirth dishes, but the memories of the relationship produce a desire for another relationship, a table never found.

I'll work on it and try again.
Thanks for you opinion



~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
5 posted 1999-07-20 07:29 PM


Ohme, oh my...you are VERY talented! I love this piece...it says so much to me! I am looking forward, impatiently, to read more of your work!

------------------
~onevoice~

"I never kissed somebody so that they would break my heart."


Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
6 posted 1999-07-20 07:34 PM


Please... Don't change a thing! It's perfect, let it stand! I knew it was something deeper, I just couldn't find it within my own befuddled mind. Thanks for the clarification. Now I like it even more, so much more than I can say. Great job!
Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
7 posted 1999-07-20 07:37 PM


I agree, Great job!
Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
8 posted 1999-07-20 07:45 PM


Thanks for the pat on the back, Guys. Perhaps I will leave it as it is. Glad you liked it.
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