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Passions in Poetry

Personal Ad: The Perfect Man (Apologies to hoot_owl_m)

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Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


0 posted 07-20-99 12:47 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

Apologies to hoot_owl_m who wrote a much more creative and sensible treatment of this topic.


++++++++++++++++++++

Small pantless man,
seeks dim-witted lass,
not looking for cash,
or a small ounce of class.

I shall tell you right now,
to avoid the surprise,
that most sadly I have,
two fish-hooks for eyes.

My pants do not fit me,
'cause sadly I say,
my legs were replaced
with long stalks of hay.

My interests include,
Nintendo and smack,
my wife and I live
in a lice ridden shack.

My most favorite food,
is Chinese Foot Brine,
but since last I ate it,
my fingers number nine.

The star that I claim,
to resemble the most,
is a white and male version
of Whoopi from Ghost.

I've no sense of humor,
no looks and no brains,
an erection is possible,
but quickly it wanes.

I do need a woman,
good looks are a must,
a nice shapely bosom,
and no teeth are a plus.

So please ladies call me,
I'll be your Don Juan,
and show up at midnight,
drunk on your lawn.


- ROMEO


------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html

© Copyright 1999 Poetwheel - All Rights Reserved
mia
Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 120


1 posted 07-20-99 01:13 PM       View Profile for mia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mia

Poetwheel...

it's the first time that I smile today... thank you for this ad... If I had no teeth and a shapely bosom I might be tempted to answer!!! But alass I am nothing more that a tall skinny flat chested woman with all her teeth!
you're crazy! :-)

You rock Poetwheel! :-)

[This message has been edited by mia (edited 07-20-99).]
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


2 posted 07-20-99 01:20 PM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

What a sense of humor.
Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


3 posted 07-20-99 02:35 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

I'm glad you like it.

And dearest Mia, merely cease flossing immediately you will be on the road to eternal happiness.

And yes, we are quite mad. No argument.

PW




------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


4 posted 07-20-99 03:21 PM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Appologies accepted...I had a creative writing teacher tell me one time that "Good poets borrow, Great poets steal!"
Anyway, I had myself a good laugh with your little personal ad, sorry to say, I do not fit the qualifications.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


5 posted 07-20-99 05:58 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

God help the woman who fits the bill, although you two would be deserving of each other. Now if I can only get this image out of my mind.
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


6 posted 07-20-99 06:04 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

my belongs to you...i can't read but your pic looked sooo sexy...thanks for the

------------------
one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...eight short weeks...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...the mistress...stolen hours ... devotion...Master...apart...



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-20-99).]
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 06-05-99
Posts 26302
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


7 posted 07-20-99 06:52 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

Hey, Poetwheel!
I really feel
Your personal ad was great.

Your perfect gal
I think, old pal
Would be one you inflate!
Poetwheel
Member
since 07-07-99
Posts 215
Canada


8 posted 07-20-99 07:32 PM       View Profile for Poetwheel   Email Poetwheel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Poetwheel's Home Page   View IP for Poetwheel

Hey Balladeer,
I greatly fear,
your words they ring quite true.

My last sweet lass,
possessed no class,
and the looks of Sir Magoo.

PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408

Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


9 posted 07-20-99 08:11 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

And some times I cry from laughing!

Wonderful, I love a sense of humor.
Dragon
Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 139
Highmount,NY ,USA


10 posted 07-20-99 08:30 PM       View Profile for Dragon   Email Dragon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dragon

Very Funny and witty.I think I know this person! Still laughing!
 
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