navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » Personal Ad: The Perfect Man (Apologies to hoot_owl_m)
Open Poetry #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic Personal Ad: The Perfect Man (Apologies to hoot_owl_m) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Poetwheel
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208
Canada

0 posted 1999-07-20 12:47 PM


Apologies to hoot_owl_m who wrote a much more creative and sensible treatment of this topic.


++++++++++++++++++++

Small pantless man,
seeks dim-witted lass,
not looking for cash,
or a small ounce of class.

I shall tell you right now,
to avoid the surprise,
that most sadly I have,
two fish-hooks for eyes.

My pants do not fit me,
'cause sadly I say,
my legs were replaced
with long stalks of hay.

My interests include,
Nintendo and smack,
my wife and I live
in a lice ridden shack.

My most favorite food,
is Chinese Foot Brine,
but since last I ate it,
my fingers number nine.

The star that I claim,
to resemble the most,
is a white and male version
of Whoopi from Ghost.

I've no sense of humor,
no looks and no brains,
an erection is possible,
but quickly it wanes.

I do need a woman,
good looks are a must,
a nice shapely bosom,
and no teeth are a plus.

So please ladies call me,
I'll be your Don Juan,
and show up at midnight,
drunk on your lawn.


- ROMEO


------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html


© Copyright 1999 Poetwheel - All Rights Reserved
mia
Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118

1 posted 1999-07-20 01:13 PM


Poetwheel...

it's the first time that I smile today... thank you for this ad... If I had no teeth and a shapely bosom I might be tempted to answer!!! But alass I am nothing more that a tall skinny flat chested woman with all her teeth!
you're crazy! :-)

You rock Poetwheel! :-)

[This message has been edited by mia (edited 07-20-99).]

Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
2 posted 1999-07-20 01:20 PM


What a sense of humor.
Poetwheel
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208
Canada
3 posted 1999-07-20 02:35 PM


I'm glad you like it.

And dearest Mia, merely cease flossing immediately you will be on the road to eternal happiness.

And yes, we are quite mad. No argument.

PW




------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 1999-07-20 03:21 PM


Appologies accepted...I had a creative writing teacher tell me one time that "Good poets borrow, Great poets steal!"
Anyway, I had myself a good laugh with your little personal ad, sorry to say, I do not fit the qualifications.

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald

Andrew Scott
Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558
Redlands,CA,USA
5 posted 1999-07-20 05:58 PM


God help the woman who fits the bill, although you two would be deserving of each other. Now if I can only get this image out of my mind.
elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
6 posted 1999-07-20 06:04 PM


my belongs to you...i can't read but your pic looked sooo sexy...thanks for the

------------------
one night at the airport...Childhood Memories...eight short weeks...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...the mistress...stolen hours ... devotion...Master...apart...



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 07-20-99).]

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 1999-07-20 06:52 PM


Hey, Poetwheel!
I really feel
Your personal ad was great.

Your perfect gal
I think, old pal
Would be one you inflate!

Poetwheel
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208
Canada
8 posted 1999-07-20 07:32 PM


Hey Balladeer,
I greatly fear,
your words they ring quite true.

My last sweet lass,
possessed no class,
and the looks of Sir Magoo.

PW

------------------
Poetic Wheelbarrow
http://www.stormloader.com/poetwheel/den.html
ICQ: 44370408


Ohme
Senior Member
since 1999-07-17
Posts 816
Texas
9 posted 1999-07-20 08:11 PM


And some times I cry from laughing!

Wonderful, I love a sense of humor.

Dragon
Member
since 1999-07-14
Posts 138
Highmount,NY ,USA
10 posted 1999-07-20 08:30 PM


Very Funny and witty.I think I know this person! Still laughing!
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » Personal Ad: The Perfect Man (Apologies to hoot_owl_m)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary