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Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


0 posted 07-19-99 12:29 PM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Delores Hall

This is a tale of death and despair.
Open the page if you dare.

About a young man who grew up in the ghetto.
If only he had known,life wouldn't be so mellow.

He grew up in the streets with never enough food to eat.
Robbing and stealing to make his way.
And selling his drugs everyday.

The drugs are robbing him,stealing him blind.
Will he have anymore time?
The clock ticks,while he await's his next fix.

He finds a house that's nice and dark.
This is where he think's I'll make my next mark.

He creeps into the house where the old man is
sleeping.
Never realizing the dog is a creeping.

The animal let's out a big howl.
Then awaken's the old man with a startiling growl.

The darkness engulfs them both.
Will the old man have the strength to cope?

The gun goes off,he turns on the light.
The young man from the ghetto has just had his last fight.

The old man picks up the phone,and cries out a loud moan.
"Please come get him." he said.
"He broke into my home and now he's dead."

So watch it now with the tale I tell.
I think we now it all to well.



© Copyright 1999 Delores Hall - All Rights Reserved
Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


1 posted 07-20-99 12:02 PM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

Any suggestions?Did I offend anyone? Or is it the name? Or is it just no one has read it?
mia
Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 120


2 posted 07-20-99 12:15 PM       View Profile for mia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mia

Delores... you did'nt offend me... I'm really sorry...I had read it but I feel so depressed that I would'nt make the best of critics right now. But the story that you convey in this poem is so true and it is very well written.
The title is great. I like it cus it is different.have a great day
mia

Delores Hall
Member
since 07-16-99
Posts 358
USA


3 posted 07-20-99 09:15 PM       View Profile for Delores Hall   Email Delores Hall   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Delores Hall

I think maybe I need to change the name to
Young man in the ghetto. But I don't know how
I all ready tried, and it wouldn't work, so I'm stuck with it.Oh well there are worse things in life than this.
Sundance
Member
since 07-11-99
Posts 124


4 posted 07-20-99 09:21 PM       View Profile for Sundance   Email Sundance   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Sundance

Like it. It had some cool ways of rhyming. Not the same every time, nicely done!

Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 06-20-99
Posts 2589
Normal, Illinois


5 posted 07-20-99 09:52 PM       View Profile for Lost Dreamer   Email Lost Dreamer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lost Dreamer

Unfortunetly this scenerio does happen to often, but lately it seems it's the innocent who are losing the battle that they never intended on being in to begin with.
 
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