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Open Poetry #1
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Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA

0 posted 1999-07-19 12:29 PM


This is a tale of death and despair.
Open the page if you dare.

About a young man who grew up in the ghetto.
If only he had known,life wouldn't be so mellow.

He grew up in the streets with never enough food to eat.
Robbing and stealing to make his way.
And selling his drugs everyday.

The drugs are robbing him,stealing him blind.
Will he have anymore time?
The clock ticks,while he await's his next fix.

He finds a house that's nice and dark.
This is where he think's I'll make my next mark.

He creeps into the house where the old man is
sleeping.
Never realizing the dog is a creeping.

The animal let's out a big howl.
Then awaken's the old man with a startiling growl.

The darkness engulfs them both.
Will the old man have the strength to cope?

The gun goes off,he turns on the light.
The young man from the ghetto has just had his last fight.

The old man picks up the phone,and cries out a loud moan.
"Please come get him." he said.
"He broke into my home and now he's dead."

So watch it now with the tale I tell.
I think we now it all to well.




© Copyright 1999 Delores Hall - All Rights Reserved
Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
1 posted 1999-07-20 12:02 PM


Any suggestions?Did I offend anyone? Or is it the name? Or is it just no one has read it?
mia
Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118

2 posted 1999-07-20 12:15 PM


Delores... you did'nt offend me... I'm really sorry...I had read it but I feel so depressed that I would'nt make the best of critics right now. But the story that you convey in this poem is so true and it is very well written.
The title is great. I like it cus it is different.have a great day
mia


Delores Hall
Member
since 1999-07-16
Posts 342
USA
3 posted 1999-07-20 09:15 PM


I think maybe I need to change the name to
Young man in the ghetto. But I don't know how
I all ready tried, and it wouldn't work, so I'm stuck with it.Oh well there are worse things in life than this.

Sundance
Member
since 1999-07-11
Posts 123

4 posted 1999-07-20 09:21 PM


Like it. It had some cool ways of rhyming. Not the same every time, nicely done!


Lost Dreamer
Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464
Somewhere near the Rainbow
5 posted 1999-07-20 09:52 PM


Unfortunetly this scenerio does happen to often, but lately it seems it's the innocent who are losing the battle that they never intended on being in to begin with.
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