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Passions in Poetry

How Do I Love You?

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DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


0 posted 07-19-99 03:30 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Daddy, how do I love you?
You're supposed to take pain away.
Daddy,I don't want your caress.
I don't want your pain.
Please don't touch me that way,
I really don't want your hands on my dress.

Honey, how do I love you?
Don't you want to play the game?
Here, sit up on Daddy's lap.
Just do exactly what you've done before,
exactly the same.
No honey, don't think of it as a trap.

Husband, how do I love you?
You spent our money on liquor,
The children are hungry,
what do I feed them?
You stumble in,
being gone all night,
then you leave even quicker,
The memory of loving you grows dim.

How do I love you?
Come over here wife,
get into the bed,
I'll show you what a real man's made of.
I'm late. Hurry up woman,
you heard exactly what I said,
You know just how to make love.

How do I love you, Daddy,
when twice you've broken my arm?
Bloody noses, missing teeth,
all from you.
Why all the bruises,
aren't you supposed to keep me from harm?
I can't believe I love you,
with all that you do.

How do I love you?
Come over here,
you sniveling, little brat.
Bring me the belt,
no not that, the black one!
I love you.
Can't have you spoiled,
I'll show you where it's at.
Turn around, bend over,
let me get it done.

How do I love you?
The answer is that I don't,
not anymore.
Once upon a fairy tale I really did.
One day soon when you're sleeping,
I'll even every old score,
I'll be the one
nailing down the coffin lid.

©1999 DreamEvil

------------------
Being paranoid is the biggest reason I'm still around to practice my paranoia.
DreamEvil©

[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 07-19-99).]

[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 07-19-99).]

[This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 07-19-99).]
© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
elvira
Senior Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


1 posted 07-19-99 03:34 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira

i'm truly moved...in poetry we so often idealize relationships...alas, reality mostly still "bites"

------------------
Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart...

Gentle Soul
Member
since 07-12-99
Posts 274
Vinton,Ohio USA


2 posted 07-19-99 03:48 AM       View Profile for Gentle Soul   Email Gentle Soul   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gentle Soul

I love it Dream.. just as I said it would do.. I believe it will touch many.. and dont worry about the others ;-) hehe.. Bravo!

------------------
Gėnt£ė¤§°ū£

~one voice~
Senior Member
since 07-08-99
Posts 668
Billings, MT USA


3 posted 07-19-99 03:57 AM       View Profile for ~one voice~   Email ~one voice~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~one voice~

Dream, this is very good... very sad and touching. I can feel the anger, the fear...You've done a wonderful job with this piece.

------------------
~onevoice~

"I never kissed somebody so that they would break my heart."

Dragon
Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 139
Highmount,NY ,USA


4 posted 07-19-99 04:41 AM       View Profile for Dragon   Email Dragon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dragon

SOul searching again,Very moving,Fantastic.
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


5 posted 07-19-99 09:26 AM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

It hurt me to read this............that means very well done.

------------------
"Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone
I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me."

-Charles Brugnot
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


6 posted 07-19-99 10:58 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

The intent was to open eyes that have been too long shut.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


7 posted 07-19-99 11:34 AM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Bravo.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


8 posted 07-19-99 07:45 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Thank you, Sunshine, your verse is on it's way.
Ohme
Senior Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 831
Texas


9 posted 07-19-99 08:08 PM       View Profile for Ohme   Email Ohme   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ohme

This one makes me feel uncomfortable. But that's alright too. Isn't the purpose of poetry to stir emotion. No gurantee that the emotion will always be comfy cozy. I was touched.
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 05-26-99
Posts 25869
Hurricane Alley


10 posted 07-19-99 09:23 PM       View Profile for Poet deVine   Email Poet deVine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet deVine

Excellent! I've always felt that poets can bring a subject to the attention of the people in a way like no other! Poetry is supposed to be be an expression of our souls; be the dark or light. This is a dark portrait of an evil man. The subject is disturbing - the poem is effective - the message is clear! I'm impressed.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


11 posted 07-19-99 09:44 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Thank you, Ohme, praise from a peer is always dear.

Lady deVine, once again you found the time,
to read and critique my pitiful rhyme.
Thank you, dear Lady.
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


12 posted 07-19-99 10:19 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

I read this and the following comments. I re-read it hoping for some glimmer of the brilliance that others have insinuated was there.

I found none. This peice was contrived, forced, and painfully apparent. I sense an abilty but no inspiration.

I'll read more, hoping for some of the wonders that the others have eluded to.....
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


13 posted 07-19-99 10:43 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Again, the subject matter is objectionable. I would tell you that this is one of my more angry attempts. Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the Darkness I live with daily.

I would point out that the rudeness you display in your remarks is more appropriately needed in Critical Analysis. You might at least consider the feelings of the individual you disparaging. Unless of course, the concept of common courtesy eludes you.

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©


JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


14 posted 07-19-99 10:54 PM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

Ah, I see that I have offended. None meant.

I focused my comments purely on the poetic. Those who know me know that I am not one to attack visciously.

As for where you are coming from, your intent, etc.... I did not think of that, nor did I consider that in my analysis. I merely read your work for what it is, on its own. If I judged too harshly, then I am truly sorry.
Red Letter
Member
since 05-24-99
Posts 92
Allentown, PA


15 posted 07-19-99 11:03 PM       View Profile for Red Letter   Email Red Letter   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Red Letter

Dear DreamEvil...

Re-read the comments that were made. They were neither rude nor did they attack you as a person. He did not disparage you - only disagreed with the former commendation.

While it is true that his comments may be more appropriate to the Critical Analysis forum, you are posting on a public forum. That implies that you are looking for feedback, good, bad, ugly and indifferent.

I have learned more from negative comments on my work then a thousand "well done's" - it will help you to grow as a poet and make you a better writer. Take it with a grain of salt, my friend - I promise you will be better off for it.

Red
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


16 posted 07-20-99 01:40 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

It seems the torch he carries for you has singed his mind.
hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 07-05-99
Posts 11105
Glen Hope, PA USA


17 posted 07-20-99 10:31 AM       View Profile for hoot_owl_rn   Email hoot_owl_rn   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit hoot_owl_rn's Home Page   View IP for hoot_owl_rn

Wow Evil....this poem envoked a lot of feelings in me. To say it "hit" a little too close to home would not be a lie. Sometimes, we as poets, tend to forget the darker sides of life. Life is not all love, flowers and romance...it's about time we share these other things too. Applauds your bravery to share this piece.
If you are interested in something of mine very much like this, let me know and I will e-mail it to you...it is a piece of prose entitled Domestic Violence
my e-mail is hoot_owl_rn@yahoo.com

------------------
"Nobody has measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" ~Zelda Fitzgerald
Ominous
Member
since 07-04-99
Posts 68
Canada


18 posted 07-20-99 02:00 PM       View Profile for Ominous   Email Ominous   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ominous

This poem helped open my eyes to something I had chosen to forget. This really touched my heart.
A job well done.
sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 06-15-99
Posts 595
Oklahoma City, OK, USA


19 posted 07-21-99 08:58 AM       View Profile for sea_of_okc   Email sea_of_okc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for sea_of_okc

A small shred of the darkness exposed to the light... good job dreamevil
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


20 posted 07-21-99 10:10 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Open eyes are what I write for, thank you.

------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©


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