I've just combed the cold wet rain through my long hair. It feels longer somehow as if the rain had fingers which pulled my strands like spaghetti through a sieve. I'm alone now, underneath the edge of a thundering sky, alone and cold and feeling somehow lost. This is all there is, this moment no welcome gift of sunlit heat just cold and waiting. Waiting and rain-damp longer hair.
very nice way to capture a moment in time......however, your word use of spaghetti gave me the distinct impression that you couldn't find a better word to fit......it went from a solitary figure in the rain....to a plate of spaghetti. It loses the focus of the poems flow. Just a thought!
Yeah, see your point. What's a better image I wonder? Suggestions? The poem is meant to capture a moment in time where the subject (could be confessionalist!) is acutely aware of physical and emotional sensations.
Billings, MT USA