How to Join Member's Area Private Library Search Today's Topics p Login
Main Forums Discussion Tech Talk Mature Content Archives
   Nav Win
 Archives
 Open Poetry #1 Archive
 The Ghost in the Hollow
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17
Follow us on Facebook

 This is an Archive. You may post a reply, but new topics are not allowed.

 
User Options
Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Admin Print Send ECard
Passions in Poetry

The Ghost in the Hollow

 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


0 posted 07-17-99 09:02 PM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Nearing dawn the tempestuous night redoubled it's fervor growing ever slower in it's mighty gyrations. Turgid and thick in it's protestations, with an almost audible crack the horizon snapped open it's silver eye.

The brightening silver glow illuminated the year's first crisp fallen snow like the sheddings of angel's wings or lover's kisses. The trees were bare, reaching for the sky with wanton abandon and feverish eagerness.

That essential quiet that marks the start of each newborn day with the chilling revelation that the earth is one day closer to death, makes it's way into the world with every breath.

The appearance of a gentle hollow reveals itself with infinite regret, to the aborning morning that will follow yet lies nestled in the content of first passion's afterglow.

Within this hidden grove lies a child that died, in misery, before her time. So, lonely the ghost wanders in obscurity begging for Heaven to set her free from the ties that bind.

Dawn and twilight, opposites in potency, are the only times the substance of ethereal flesh can be. It becomes a reminder of those who will never find her, so lost is she.

Yet the simple contentment and radiant wonder she sees, more than compare to the disease of reason that holds her through each season, tearing her heart asunder.

The ghost in the hollow cannot follow her burning desire to be free, since the ties that bind have realigned, trapping her in the lonely hollow for all time.

With the burgeoning light, she fades from sight, granted a reprieve until the beginning of night again reveals her frightened delight to empty eyes, for there is no one there to see the denial of her plight.


©1999 DreamEvil


------------------
Being paranoid is the biggest reason I'm still around to practice my paranoia.
DreamEvil©

© Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved
Janus
New Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 7


1 posted 07-17-99 09:16 PM       View Profile for Janus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janus

Very interesting language, and form.
Unfortunately a little hard to comprehend due to an abundance of adjectives. Your poem was extremely promising, keep evolving!!
Janus
New Member
since 07-17-99
Posts 7


2 posted 07-17-99 09:18 PM       View Profile for Janus   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janus

Forgot to mention that your internal rhyme is delightfully subversive, if a little obvious.
Dragon
Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 139
Highmount,NY ,USA


3 posted 07-17-99 10:33 PM       View Profile for Dragon   Email Dragon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dragon

Very intense.I like it!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


4 posted 07-17-99 10:40 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Not only could I see, feel and hear this in my heart, it was simply beautiful in its tragedy. Thank you.

------------------
Sunshine
Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ
Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

~one voice~
Senior Member
since 07-08-99
Posts 668
Billings, MT USA


5 posted 07-18-99 12:07 AM       View Profile for ~one voice~   Email ~one voice~   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for ~one voice~

Very deep, Dream. And thought provoking for me. I love your style!
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


6 posted 07-18-99 12:31 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Thanks for the replies, but I thought it turned out ridiculous. 'nuff of that style, eh?
Gentle Soul
Member
since 07-12-99
Posts 274
Vinton,Ohio USA


7 posted 07-18-99 12:56 AM       View Profile for Gentle Soul   Email Gentle Soul   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gentle Soul

I like it..

------------------
Gėnt£ė¤§°ū£

dimples22
Junior Member
since 07-15-99
Posts 30


8 posted 07-18-99 01:08 AM       View Profile for dimples22   Email dimples22   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for dimples22

Evil, I think your poems speak volumes of inner sorrow and turmoil, I always enjoy reading your work.
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 06-16-99
Posts 3968
In the space between moments


9 posted 07-18-99 02:00 AM       View Profile for Alwye   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alwye

Beautiful.

------------------
..And down from the eternal heavens comes fate's jewelled fingertips, it's magic flowing into awaiting souls..--Krista Knutson


*Krista Knutson*


azblond
Senior Member
since 07-01-99
Posts 651
The Steamy Desert


10 posted 07-18-99 03:24 AM       View Profile for azblond   Email azblond   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for azblond

Never enough...I liked it, and judging by the general concensus, I think we deserve more! Loved it is a better way to put it by the way...

------------------
For sometimes when the Darkness falls, we must surrender, take what is ours, and give what we can, and always remember love is somewhere waiting...


DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


11 posted 07-18-99 03:50 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Actually put some effort into this. I'm glad it's well received.
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


12 posted 07-18-99 01:03 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

I got a bit lost in the adjectives at first.......had to stop and begin again. it's slow reading, and evens out (becomes thinner?) at the end. You have a definite way to tell a story, just clean up the mechanics a bit, and look what wonders will occur!
Saxoness
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 07-18-99
Posts 1176
Texas


13 posted 07-18-99 01:04 PM       View Profile for Saxoness   Email Saxoness   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Saxoness

oh......forgot to say..........the silver eye bit at the beggining was fantastic!
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


14 posted 07-19-99 11:50 PM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

tiz dreamy at his best always i can count on a lil ease of the heart readin his emotional work
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


15 posted 07-20-99 01:31 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Saxoness, a pleasure. walt, I know how busy you've been. Thanks for checking.
JP
Senior Member
since 05-25-99
Posts 1391
Loomis, CA


16 posted 07-20-99 02:48 AM       View Profile for JP   Email JP   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JP's Home Page   View IP for JP

Wonderful potential sadly ladden with excessive adjectives and too long verse.

Keep going my friend, you have talent hidden somewhere in there.
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 06-22-99
Posts 2442


17 posted 07-20-99 04:46 AM       View Profile for DreamEvil   Email DreamEvil   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit DreamEvil's Home Page   View IP for DreamEvil

Intended to be thick, just an experiment. You might try it, I find that experimentation broadens the mind.



------------------
Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings?
DreamEvil©


DreamEvil will be notified of replies
 Post A Reply   Go to the Next Oldest/Previous Topic Return to Topic Page Go to the Next Newest Topic 
All times are ET (US) Top
  User Options
>> Archives >> Open Poetry #1 >> The Ghost in the Hollow Format for Better Printing EMail to a Friend Create a Greeting Card with this Poem
Print Send ECard

 

pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Today's Topics | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary



© Passions in Poetry and netpoets.com 1998-2013
All Poetry and Prose is copyrighted by the individual authors