navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » December 30, 1997
Open Poetry #1
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Brianne
New Member
since 1999-07-14
Posts 6
Boston, MA

0 posted 1999-07-16 02:56 PM



Sleep,
The most precious blesing bestowed
from God
The doorway to the soul of the imagination
The cliff from which you fall and
slip beneath the clouds of reality
A blessing for those without sin?
A priceless gift for the untainted?
The dream-catcher transforms from friend to foe
The yearning to feel his embrace again
Instead,
A shadow haunts
An unfamiliar silohette in a cracked doorway
A demonic eye intimidates the gaurdian angels
Footsteps match the rythmic heart
Peace becomes aggression
A caress becomes a blow
Tears swallow laughter
Screams match those of the terrified angels
The carpet of reality slams you
The evil slithers away
Leaving the venomous, bloody wound

Brianne

© Copyright 1999 Brianne - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-07-16 03:08 PM


The flow of Darkness from begining to end is a little choppy, smooth the transition and I think it would flow better. All in all, a marvelous piece.

------------------
Being paranoid is the biggest reason I'm still around to practice my paranoia.
DreamEvil©


blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY
2 posted 1999-07-16 05:37 PM


I can not stop the tears that flow from my eyes. You plucked a sensitive string within. Thank you for saying what I can not.
blueloon

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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » December 30, 1997

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