he was thinking Australia (any suggestions?)

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Open Poetry #1

he was thinking Australia (any suggestions?)

mia
Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 118

0 posted 1999-07-16 01:58 PM

he was thinking
Australia
when he left me behind
to tend to the garden

On a white winged crow
he flew
to conquer the night
no promisses of forever
"cus they don't exist"
he said
just now
he makes love
and leaves
his sunsets
to tend to the garden

On a white winged crow
he fled
to find his future
no assurance of return
"cus you never know"
he said
just now
he blows soft kisses
in the air
and evaporates
his oceans
to tend to the garden

On a white winged crow
he crashed
into forever
no love left
"cus you can't wait"
I said
just now
i cry tears
and gather
their water
to tend to the garden

mia.
------------------

the last verse is screwed up... I would love some help in finishing this one... any suggestions?!?

Sweet T
Member

since 1999-06-14

Posts 64
mesa, arizona maricopa

1 posted 1999-07-16 02:45 PM

The line I cry and gather.......
That is a really good line. I personally have no suggestions for you but I would love to see the finished product!!!!!!

mia
Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 118

2 posted 1999-07-16 02:58 PM

Read you all next week...
What a long weekend it will be without your words to soothe my soul...

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