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Open Poetry #1
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KTrail99
Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 14


0 posted 1999-07-16 11:41 AM


I see you, walking past
I smell your sweet scent
You're better than the last
You must have been heaven sent

You could not comprehend
That I have selected
You to be mine, to the end
Or at least, till you are dead

In the darkness I observe
Your smile, your frown, your entire life
I soon will give you what you deserve
You will complete me, and be my wife

The need builds till there is only one release
Tonight? Tomorrow? Definitely soon
I will take you, have you, and be at peace
I will meet you under the moon

I take you, you are shocked
You never suspected
I knew the door was unlocked
Life as you knew it is completed

You do not love me
As much as I do you
It was wrong of me to see
That you did not care what I do

I was so mistaken
You are not the one
I should not have taken
My obsession with you is done

I say my good-byes
Leave you like I found you
Unhappy in the lies
You will not live to rue

No evidence of my passage
No one to witness me
I leave you, with the old adage
There are always more fish in the sea

I am searching
For the one for me
She will be better looking
You will just have to wait and see

I see you, walking past
I smell your sweet scent
You're better than the last
You must have been heaven sent

© Copyright 1999 KTrail99 - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Soul
Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273
Vinton,Ohio USA
1 posted 1999-07-16 11:48 AM


thats coool.. sounds like some guys I know.. I like how at the end, you start off the obsession again.. nice touch!

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Gënt£ë¤§°û£



Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

2 posted 1999-07-16 12:32 PM


I must respectfully disagree, I do not find this poem cool. There has been a trend in this forum which I find somewhat disconcerting which is highlighted by this poem. I realize this post is contrary to the general responses given and fully believe in freedom of expression. However, even if this poem is another vampire effort, I find it denegrating to women. If I have offended anyone's feelings, I aplogize.
KTrail99
Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 14

3 posted 1999-07-16 12:36 PM


Tim,
These are not my views of women, nor do I condone them. I find this poem to be as disturbed and disturbing as you do. YET!! As you said, we all have a freedom of expression. I thank you for your input, and hope you enjoy some of my less disturbing prose.

~one voice~
Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664
Billings, MT USA
4 posted 1999-07-16 01:18 PM


Yikes! Definitely well-written, but scary!!! I'm gonna make sure I keep my door locked!!! Good job!

------------------
~one voice~
*You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.*


snuffleupagus
Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 11

5 posted 1999-07-16 03:58 PM


Very thrilling. You could be the next Thomas Harris of poetry. I have noticed a dark trend in the forum, but imagination and creativity explore all realms of emotions and feelings. well done.
KTrail99
Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 14

6 posted 1999-07-16 04:14 PM


Thanks snuffleupagus, that is a real compliment being compared with a writer like Harris.

*kotl*


elvira
Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936
California
7 posted 1999-07-16 05:23 PM


if poetry stirs up controversy, than it is doing its job i thoroughly enjoyed this piece, a spinetingler

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Childhood Memories...your countenance...hoarse whispers...My One and Only...Tribute to M.J... serving wench...stolen hours...devotion...Master...apart...



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