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Mascara
| Open Poetry #1 |
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Mascara |
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LUTH New Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 5Louisiana |
Waking up with mascara-stained teardrops Streaked down your face Never felt sweeter Than knowing You're growing Closer to finding yourself Amid the chaos of being Torn between the choices Echoing voices Telling you who to be. Then you realize You're wiser than the day before And will be forever more. ------------------ TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL |
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| © Copyright 1999 LUTH - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Content wise I like it very much. It is so true. So many people telling us who we are suppose to be and each one saying something different it get so confusing. Good job. Structure wise I have one little problem with the beginning that really isn't that bad b/c the rest of the poem is so good. It is only the first two or three lines don't fit into the scheme but they still work somehow. You do finish up the work beautifully though. Jfreak |
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jfreak Member
since 1999-06-17
Posts 306Yuma, AZ, USA |
Content wise I like it very much. It is so true. So many people telling us who we are suppose to be and each one saying something different it get so confusing. Good job. Structure wise I have one little problem with the beginning that really isn't that bad b/c the rest of the poem is so good. It is only the first two or three lines don't fit into the scheme but they still work somehow. You do finish up the work beautifully though. Jfreak |
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