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Passions in Poetry

Mascara

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LUTH
New Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 5
Louisiana


0 posted 07-15-99 05:32 PM       View Profile for LUTH   Email LUTH   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LUTH

Waking up with mascara-stained teardrops Streaked down your face
Never felt sweeter
Than knowing
You're growing
Closer to finding yourself
Amid the chaos of being
Torn between the choices
Echoing voices
Telling you who to be.
Then you realize
You're wiser than the day before
And will be forever more.

------------------
TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL
© Copyright 1999 LUTH - All Rights Reserved
jfreak
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 311
Yuma, AZ, USA


1 posted 07-15-99 06:08 PM       View Profile for jfreak   Email jfreak   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jfreak

Content wise I like it very much. It is so true. So many people telling us who we are suppose to be and each one saying something different it get so confusing. Good job.

Structure wise I have one little problem with the beginning that really isn't that bad b/c the rest of the poem is so good. It is only the first two or three lines don't fit into the scheme but they still work somehow. You do finish up the work beautifully though.

Jfreak
jfreak
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 311
Yuma, AZ, USA


2 posted 07-15-99 06:09 PM       View Profile for jfreak   Email jfreak   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jfreak

Content wise I like it very much. It is so true. So many people telling us who we are suppose to be and each one saying something different it get so confusing. Good job.

Structure wise I have one little problem with the beginning that really isn't that bad b/c the rest of the poem is so good. It is only the first two or three lines don't fit into the scheme but they still work somehow. You do finish up the work beautifully though.

Jfreak
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