navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » Sleepless Nights
Open Poetry #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic Sleepless Nights Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY

0 posted 1999-07-15 11:39 AM


From the core it burns
through the feilds of joy
it blazes
into the darkness
it smothers

rainbows dance
over the earth we hover
silently we pine within
although together

Into slumber I fall
warmth behind me
a chill within me
three hearts are heard to beat

The car travels on
down an empty road
one headlight out
the other steering
toward obscureness

Answering the phone
a voice is heard
dialogue is an illusion
gumption is spoken
phone drops
the connection cut

Early morning

Sign of warning
life within
danger is near
persecute the battle
notify the body
of the womb that beats

cancel the fore warning
place a pillow
beneath my head
rock the crib
sing me a lullaby
for I am your only baby

© Copyright 1999 blueloon - All Rights Reserved
snuffleupagus
Junior Member
since 1999-07-15
Posts 11

1 posted 1999-07-15 12:29 PM


I don't get it?
blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY
2 posted 1999-07-15 01:38 PM


snuffle...It is your own interpretation that makes poetry read...It is mine that makes it write... hint...before sleep,during sleep, and waking from sleep...yet everything takes place while in bed!
blueloon

mia
Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118

3 posted 1999-07-15 01:55 PM


Maybe this is going to sound really weird and this thought will maybe not be properly conveyed but here I go.
There is nothing like good salad. You know, all those beautiful fresh veggies, that you picked in the garden that you are growing in your backyard, tossed together to create a whole. What sweet taste in your mouth. Well a poem is really like a salad...some poeple like ceasar, some like garden or potato but the combination is still delicious to the perosn who eats in and it is opening your mind to try a variety of flavors. Blueloon...this poem was one of the best salads that I ever tasted...your words were carefully picked in the garden of your mind, they were tossed together to create a perfect whole and I ate with appetite. You are a wonderful cook and I look forward to tasting more of your dishes...

luv
mia

quote99
Junior Member
since 1999-07-14
Posts 17
US
4 posted 1999-07-15 02:17 PM


Huh? I was so confused and lost on this one. I love salad too, but this seemed overtossed to me. Like putting lettuce and spaghetti together.
mia
Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118

5 posted 1999-07-15 02:52 PM


You are a poet right? Well haven't you ever just had a rush of words splash in your mind and it's like your pen can't keep up...like your thoughts are going a thousand miles a second... and these words...when they appear...they make sense to you. They don't have to make sense to anyone else... as long as they speak your heart. What you feel. They don't eaven have to mean a thing. Poetry is an expression of yourself it makes a statement. You read this poem...you commented and so the author of this one had his words read and seen, which is what he wanted by posting it here.
Anyways... not every poem was written to be understood... simply to be felt. And you felt something when you read...the poem reached its goal.

I like it.

blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY
6 posted 1999-07-15 02:54 PM


Thank you Mia for your kind words... quote99, If you read my reply to snuffle there may be a hint as to what I was trying to convey...a young unmarried women scared that she may be with child..."three hearts are heard to beat" yet there are only two people in the bed.
blueloon

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646
Arkansas
7 posted 1999-07-27 10:10 AM


Aaahhh blueloon, once again, you challenge my mind to keep up with yours!! Loved it, and also thought it deserved to go to the top again!!

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet


blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY
8 posted 1999-07-27 03:32 PM


Thank you again for your kind words...
blueloon

------------------
To give yourself keeps yourself still,
And you must live, drawn by your own sweet skill.
-shakespeare

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
9 posted 1999-07-27 04:01 PM


yanno, ol' Blue

This hare board is for ussen menfolk, too! Yew cain't go confusin' us wif them thar purty werds. - lol

I had a little trouble following this poem - I thought it had something to do with a baby, but then you slam dunked me with the end. You are very, very complex. I actually find that I enjoyed this poem - now - I gotta go back and read it again because I forgot what it said. :-)

blueloon
Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161
NY
10 posted 1999-07-28 05:37 PM


LngJhn, I must say that you were right it is about a baby...or what I thought was going to be a baby...false alarm...so that leaves me the other baby....a little too complex to explain I guess... Thanks for the feedback though...you're the greatest!
blueloon

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #1 » Sleepless Nights

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary