»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #1
»
Grave Mistakes
| Open Poetry #1 |
|
Grave Mistakes |
|
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Passion is a mistake, the gravest, it died in me the night I took her life, not in hunger or a fight to survive, but simply to make her mine. I didn't intend to drain her dry, but then you know, I never could control the high. I think it only fair to start with the beating of my cold, dead, heart. Those of you who have read what came before will have to tell the others, I can't bear it anymore. Suffice it to say, I sent my minions to follow her during the day, watching her as she went to pray. Never believing and always deceiving, I feel so hollow. My ravening rats followed her home where she entered the house with quiet care. Therein they heard a slap and fevered moan, it seems her husband was home. They smelled the spoor of a nocturnal Beast, a common creature with a need only to feed. Slowly they crept away from there, returning to my side, in their lair. Puzzling as it was, my attraction to her I mean, I found deeper satisfaction in contemplating the murder of her mate whom I had come to violently hate. Pacing the ceiling of my dingy cell, with wonder and a clap like thunder, my dead heart began to quiver, unleashing a river of feeling that tore me asunder. Then and there I made myself swear, I would have her by my side, or fry trying. I can only compare the feeling of being lost to the ecstasy of being brought across. The moment I felt the sun go down, I headed out, traveling below ground. The subway is faster. I felt a chill creep down my spine like a prelude to disaster. Faster my heart screamed to me, forgetting my imposed social invisibility, I took to the air desperately trying to keep my love from anymore crying. My minions arrived long before I. They crept inside, what I saw through their eyes horrified even me. The ravening Beast was he! Glorious murder, I shouted with glee. He had beaten her down onto her knees, split her lip, knocked out her teeth. He began to change before her eyes, losing his human disguise, a werewolf you see. My rage knew no bounds as I settled to the ground, determined to stop his feast. When I crashed through the door, the beast was covered in gore from the one I adore. Ever see a vampire enraged, probably not, you wouldn't have survived it. Heart in a cage, luminous eyes, as the bloodlust rises. Even through the haze, the scent of her blood amazes me. The slavering Beast stood tall at six feet, blood dripping from his maw. I must've just missed the Change from the wet fur and deranged glare, her at his feet. My minions and the denizens of the Dark, began advancing as the Beast began prancing around her still form. My senses told me all was not lost, for her blood was still warm. Advancing my way to defend his prey, the Beast didn't reckon the force of my obsession. He blew past the rats turning his back on his possession. I roared with glee as he came for me, but out the window he went, I barely caught his scent. My broken love moved even me to ponderous pity I cradled my broken love in my arms, faintly, so faintly I could hear her heart, gently I tossed her head to the side, then drove in my fangs, to bring her across. Her blood was like fire, burning it's way into each vein. Mounting desire held sway as every last drop of that drug I did drain. Ending her pain my only refrain. Horrified by what I had done, my withered heart broke and starting to choke back bloody tears, I ran for the Sun to burn away all of these, hopeless fears. From the crumpled shell of her arose a warming glow so like the Sun, yet unknown to me that I froze on the threshold of oblivion, the newborn Sun. It slowly coalesced, spirit, delusion, heavenly host, I did not know. It became HER, as a ghost. I huddled and tried to hide, tried not to show my fear of her unearthly glow. She reached down to fondle my hair, in a voice like a whisper she said, "There, there, nothing is wrong. My pain is all gone. I've come back to be with thee." The Beast still is in flight, for I put out the word on the network of Night, any who aid him will share his plight. The thought of him free, drives me berserk. I sit upon my throne of stone, brooding on my gravest mistake, it was passion you see that took my love from me. I took her life, and though by my side for eternity, she will never be my wife. ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say. DreamEvil© |
||
| © Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Dragon Member
since 1999-07-14
Posts 138Highmount,NY ,USA |
Your best yet! |
||
|
~one voice~ Senior Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 664Billings, MT USA |
Oh DreamEvil, this is truly the most amazing thing you have written, perhaps because of the personal meanings, but nonetheless, this is AWESOME! You are sooooo talented!  ------------------ ~one voice~ *You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.* |
||
|
azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
What mere words could I use to say for what you have posted today...a story so real as it is being read, you can feel the terror, the fright, the movement, the descent, the passion, the power...I cannot express all the emotions...but rather feel them inside my bones. ------------------ For sometimes when the Darkness falls, we must surrender, take what is ours, and give what we can, and always remember love is somewhere waiting... |
||
|
Gentle Soul Member
since 1999-07-12
Posts 273Vinton,Ohio USA |
wow Dream.. its very very good.. and kinda hits home.. with the abusiveness and all.. but you know about that.. yur the greatest |
||
|
Mark R. Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 113San Francisco, CA. |
Beautifully written with such intensity and imagination. Continue writing for it will benefit you and us in the long run. Great work. |
||
|
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
dream in my eyes i hold esteem that your poem here is the best i ever seen...iz real good dream i see the meanings yes you only get better |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Glad to hear from you Mark. Walt, you know I think highly of you and your work, thanks buddy. |
||
|
IsabelleSkye Member
since 1999-06-27
Posts 253 |
WOW this was very intense my friend a bit of the dark side to give me a shiver down my spine! I like! Izzy ------------------ Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads.....Henry David Thoreau |
||
|
tori Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 520Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA |
Dream this was great!! .. kinda howling at the moon here. :-) Thinking!! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ If with pen in hand I've made you think I've not wasted one drop of ink vlh. |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Gets old just saying thank you, need to come up with something else, anyway, I find I like to write these long ones. I will as long as no one minds them. |
||
|
Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wow, a phenomenal tale, DreamEvil. Yet another winner!! I love it! ------------------ ..And down from the eternal heavens comes fate's jeweled fingertips, it's magic flowing into awaiting souls..--Krista Knutson *Krista Knutson* |
||
|
Moonlight Member
since 1999-06-25
Posts 105Auburn, Alabama USA |
This a really awesome story! You should do some more about this guy avenging his lost love. You could be an epic poet! It would be cool. Very entertaining. ~m a r y~ |
||
|
Ominous Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 68Canada |
Dream this is the best I've read yet. I was completely mesmorized by this piece of art. Congratualtions, you deserve it. ------------------ I am but a shadow, lost within this world of darkness |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Ominous, you know what I think of you. Moonlight, I'm no Homer, but I am thinking of exactly that. |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
You may not be a Homer but you certainly hit one with this piece. Congradulations. |
||
|
DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Praise from the lips of the master, nothing makes my heart race faster. Thank you, Balladeer, Revered Elder. [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 07-16-99).] |
||
Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
I am a poet....I write poetry. both proffesional, and spiritual. Dreamevil, Scott, who ever you are...........you are very good, and I am honored to be able to critique your work. I've gotten chills. But...again.....the mechanics are dusty. I LOVE IT! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||