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blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

0 posted 1999-07-14 11:38 AM

A rain drop fell
made a ripple in my still water.
I light my cigarette and take my first drag.
It clears my mind.
I exhale.
It relaxes my body.
The smoke is like a bird as it travels into the air.
But notice it creates no ripple in my still water.
My pebble tossed created a ripple.
How the circular pattern made me dizzy.
It wanted to, I know it did, I could see it in the darkness of it's color.
The ripple wanted me, wanted me, wanted me...
To capture me, and pull me.
Pull me in.
Deeper and deeper into it's hole till there is no more.
No more ripple in my still water.

~one voice~
Senior Member

since 1999-07-08

Posts 664
Billings, MT USA

1 posted 1999-07-14 12:40 PM

Blueloon, your work has this way of making me say to myself, "...Whoah..." Your detail and emotion makes me feel as if I am right there with you. Great piece!

------------------
~one voice~
*You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.*

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

2 posted 1999-07-14 01:12 PM

i really loved this one i did see it all and felt it all and am goin to gas station to get a pack but loved its meaning i did

blueloon
Member

since 1999-07-07

Posts 161
NY

3 posted 1999-07-14 02:29 PM

Thank you for your kind words...I just quit and as I posted this I wanted one really bad..but I didn't! Thanks again!
blueloon

poetFemmeFatale
Member Elite

since 1999-07-25

Posts 2646
Arkansas

4 posted 1999-07-27 10:05 AM

I really liked this one too - your thoughts - I think it deserves to go back to the top....nearly made me want to start smoking, and I don't smoke!!! He he

------------------
- poet FemmeFatale

"The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone..." Henrik Ibsen (1826-1906) Norwegian dramatist lyric poet

INclan
Senior Member

since 1999-07-20

Posts 1024
Indiana, USA

5 posted 1999-07-27 10:22 AM

I enjoyed this offering greatly...thank you for sharing. It strikes me a still-blue poem...niether up nor down. I have sat on a placid lake and put myself on idle....just musing about nothing...in the rush of my job I long for those times. Thanx for reminding me again of where I really want to be.

Thank God for vacations, even if only for the mind.

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