Longing for fresh air I went out today.
Perhaps to try something new to do,
For golf is a sport that others play
than staying at home just drinking my brew.
From the closet I took my father's old set
And put them in the trunk of the car.
I stopped in MacDonald's it was early yet
For the golf course wasn't that far.
When arriving at my destination I saw
A sign "drop bag area" so I complied.
Wouldn't want to break the course's law
Knew what that sign in bold letters implied!
Paid my fee and sent me out with another man,
We received a key for a noisy gas cart.
Introduced ourselves and said my name was Dan
Before I took tees out he was ready to start!
Three holes went by and I was still walking
As I sighted an outhouse next to a tree.
My partner just drove, didn't do any talking
But now the feeling had come quickly over me.
In a jogging manner I proceeded ahead
I decided this was a good time to take a pee.
Was I ever so sorry I didn't stay in my bed
Standing over the urinal I got bit by a bee!
My ass was burning and itching so much,
Stumbling outside I told him I was through.
Needed to leave and was in a terrible rush,
This pain on my ass just grew and grew!
The moral of my woe is telling you
Stay at home and play on your computer.
Keep on drinking your cans of brew,
Thoughts of golf will become everso fewer!