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| Open Poetry #1 |
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poem |
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Hannes New Member
since 1999-07-14
Posts 1Berlin, Germany |
I'm sitting here, want to cry asking myself why oh why I cannot be with the one, I'll be gone; I'll be gone. Nine days left that I stay here, nothing's clear, nothing's clear. What is right, what is wrong, just for her, I really long. I hurt him, should I care? What is true and what is fair? Now, I hurt, so does she, no one's there to care for me. Got no rights, got no chance, got no way for an advance; my hands tied and my soul torn, sadness builds, anger's born. To see her, the only place is in my dreams, for one last kiss. Under water, I want to sink, that I no more have to think. Want to stay, want to escape, either way it feels like rape; rape of soul, of wish, of will, see no light, feel very ill. Want to live a righteous life, for what to strive, for what to strive? Feelings are neither right nor wrong, I'll be gone; I'll be gone. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Hannes - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, I've read this three times, and cannot figure out who has been hurt, or was it actually a threesome? Do work on your rhythm a bit more, too. Hope you don't mind a little critiquing...that's how we all grow. Look forward to reading more. ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
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