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Passions in Poetry

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Hannes
New Member
since 07-14-99
Posts 1
Berlin, Germany


0 posted 07-14-99 02:22 AM       View Profile for Hannes   Email Hannes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Hannes

I'm sitting here, want to cry
asking myself why oh why
I cannot be with the one,
I'll be gone; I'll be gone.

Nine days left that I stay here,
nothing's clear, nothing's clear.

What is right, what is wrong,
just for her, I really long.

I hurt him, should I care?
What is true and what is fair?

Now, I hurt, so does she,
no one's there to care for me.

Got no rights, got no chance,
got no way for an advance;
my hands tied and my soul torn,
sadness builds, anger's born.

To see her, the only place is
in my dreams, for one last kiss.

Under water, I want to sink,
that I no more have to think.

Want to stay, want to escape,
either way it feels like rape;
rape of soul, of wish, of will,
see no light, feel very ill.

Want to live a righteous life,
for what to strive, for what to strive?

Feelings are neither right nor wrong,
I'll be gone; I'll be gone.
© Copyright 1999 Hannes - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Caelestus
since 06-25-99
Posts 67715
Listening to every heart


1 posted 07-14-99 06:01 PM       View Profile for Sunshine   Email Sunshine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Sunshine's Home Page   View IP for Sunshine

Well, I've read this three times, and cannot figure out who has been hurt, or was it actually a threesome? Do work on your rhythm a bit more, too. Hope you don't mind a little critiquing...that's how we all grow. Look forward to reading more.

------------------
Sunshine

Words will always express our feelings true. ~~~ KRJ

Look, then, into thine heart, and write ~~~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


 
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