Near golden sunsets
One times one
The clock ticks the hour on the wall,
It's lusty dong marking the end
Of my long shift, my daily duel.
One times two
I dispatch myself from the whitecollared workplace
Along a city street not quite empty
For something more sanguine, more involved.
I discover laughter,
A deep throbbing beat that shakes a city block,
And a brisk smooth drink
That lightens my senses
And overloads my memory
With nothing more than this fuzzy sensation.
Two times three
I stumble blatantly out into dawning sunlight.
Sharp pains darting through my iris,
Straight through my retina,
On through my brain,
And into the beating,
In the back of my head.
Three times four
I'm counting two more fingers than I should have
Looking through them as I focus in front of them
Four times five
As the minutes tick
While I drive completely without error
Down that not so empty city street
Five times six
Those years disappear
As I take them one by one
From someone who worked hard to earn them,
Who loved them as dearly as her children.
Six times seven
Lonely years I spend in a concrete hell
Created by the people for the people.
Seven times eight
Lifetimes of regret and disdain
I hold heavily in my soul
Eight times nine
Hundreds of people whom I have hurt
More than myself;
Who watch me everyday,
Stare at me,
Point and laugh at me,
Mock me for what I truly am.
Nine times ten
Millions of lives I have yet to touch
As I struggle to tell them
What common sense should;
As I prevent one more life lost,
One less soul
Torchered by its own self inflicted pain.
Ten times forever
I will accept my fate of purgatory
And deny nothing to redeem myself.