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Passions in Poetry

Je Voudrais (I want)

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Christina Myers
Member
since 06-21-99
Posts 169


0 posted 07-13-99 08:52 AM       View Profile for Christina Myers   Email Christina Myers   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit Christina Myers's Home Page   View IP for Christina Myers

I would like
to send you roses
at midnight

sing songs
underneath your balcony

stand on tiptoes
and grace your lips with mine

I want passion to erupt between us
like a thousand small detonations

your hand in mine
as we walk,
even if it's just to the curb and back

I want you.

Simply.
Passionately.
Always.

Why isn't it enough?



------------------
And I thought: this is how poetry is born. It comes from invisible heights, it is secret and dark in its origins, solitary and fragrant, and like the river it will assimilate whatever falls in its current; it will seek a route between the mountains, and its crystalline song will ripple through the meadows."- Pablo Neruda
© Copyright 1999 Christina Myers - All Rights Reserved
Daniel2
Junior Member
since 07-13-99
Posts 30
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada


1 posted 07-13-99 09:03 AM       View Profile for Daniel2   Email Daniel2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Daniel2

Personally, I don't like sentimentality. Your last line takes the poem out of the realm of sentimental and makes a real statement, at least for me. Keep up the good work.
mia
Member
since 07-06-99
Posts 120


2 posted 07-13-99 02:06 PM       View Profile for mia   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for mia

I think that the whole poem makes a real statement. Isn't sentimentality a real statement? Isn't love? I think that this poem is wonderful and that a simple thought of sentimentality convey a million ideas. Christina... this poem is really good and that feeling that you write.. it does make a real statement.
(I did'nt want to be mean, just wanted to give my opinion...sorry if I offended anyone)

Mia.
Alain DeLaCendres
Member
since 07-02-99
Posts 121
Ohio


3 posted 07-13-99 08:33 PM       View Profile for Alain DeLaCendres   Email Alain DeLaCendres   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Alain DeLaCendres

Je voudrais to tell you that I liked this poem. It's another for my "collection" if you would allow me to print it. May I?
The whole poem builds up a dream like romanticism that everyone loves to wish for, and the last line is like a cold splash of reality, kind of refreshingly ironic I thought. Very nice.


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Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.
jfreak
Member
since 06-17-99
Posts 311
Yuma, AZ, USA


4 posted 07-13-99 09:30 PM       View Profile for jfreak   Email jfreak   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jfreak

Good question!! You have done an outstanding job on this one. The way you wrote is so different, yet it flows beautifully. Keep up the great work. Looking forward to more postings by you.

HEY MIA-don't worry about offending people. they will get over it. Just speak your mind, people will respect that more anyways. Just a word of encouragement.

JFreak
Christina Myers
Member
since 06-21-99
Posts 169


5 posted 07-14-99 01:21 AM       View Profile for Christina Myers   Email Christina Myers   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Christina Myers's Home Page   View IP for Christina Myers

wow- thanks guys! real feedback...
would anyone believe I wrote this thing at 5am this morning inbetween getting dressed and ready for work? It almost didn't get posted!

thanks for the words, as always.

-Christina
wayoutwalt
Member Ascendant
since 06-22-99
Posts 5106
TEXAS (it's all big)


6 posted 07-14-99 01:27 AM       View Profile for wayoutwalt   Email wayoutwalt   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wayoutwalt

never know when inspiration hits i wont tell ya where mine comes to me at twood embarass
 
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