Mechanicsville, Maryland, USA
October 3, 1998
I almost lost my sons today.
In one second they were swept away.
They took these wild growing jimson seeds, to take a trip to make believe.
But it was real, believe this here, so real, me, their mom would not hear.
When doctors said it did not look good, that Wayne would not come home with me
And Joshua, was slipping fast , my hearing went, and I just slipped on past.
No one to hold me through this time.. I alone loosing mine.. No way, I would not let me go.. to a place with out them, I could not know..
If I let my self go to a place in life with out them here, there is no return for Mommy dear...
I will not believe the line was flat, I gave him life, God give him back!!
Wayne slipped further out of reach. while Josh lay there and could not speak.
No words were said, no sound, no tears. Alone in this with just my fears..
Standing Alone in the hall looking back an forth to the rooms where my baby's lay, Oh, which room to enter, which son, will stay. this is the hardest thing I could ever go through.
Don't let go girl.. its up to you!
Then Wayne came to, and Called my Name.. Mom, oh Mommy, he tried to explain.
Mama's here my love, its all right, "WAYNE" try to fight. Your coming back to me tonight.!
Again the flat lines took my son, who lay in his darker day.
And I shed not a tear, as I watched his lifeless body drift away.
I could not move, frozen still.. alone is all I could feel. no one to hold, or to help me through.. alone not knowing what to do.
The doctors would not let me stay. And this is "MY SON" who slipping away.
And in the other room I creep, to my Joshua's side, he was fast asleep, I held his hand and brushed his hair he opened his eyes with a wild glare. Mom he said, it will be alright "I'm coming home.... you wont ever have to be alone"..
The tears they fell ..... I could not speak..
Inside my heart, these words I'll keep, to hold me through what ever is to come.. where ever we go.. forever how long.. together, forever mine, these words will stay with me for all of time.
"Brain dead" is something, something the doctors said.. Wayne slipping into a coma, as if he were dead.
This medication here is hope, but with side effects we may have to cope..
The choice is such a simple one, his life first, and then will go on..
The longest day in my life, these seeds have put me through. A weed that grows wild a natural poision, and its legal too.
I saw each day of their lives flash before my worried eyes. Each birthday, Christmas the day they were born. As away from me they were being torn.
Then as fast as I could blink my eyes, the doctors said to my surprise!
Joshua is coming home tonight... Wayne will stay here in ICU..
The hopes and prayers have seen us through...
Now mommy dear is not alone, with love and hope we came back strong.
Reborn in faith, a second birth. It seen us though the very worse.
Its made us strong in many way's, and brought new meaning to Wayne's song "Darker Days"
I know I have two lucky stars**
and blessings I can't count..
Its now the happiness of each other, we seek, each others joy, we share and keep.
I cant tell you just how I felt, how I made it, or how I dealt,
The pain was so great I blocked it from me. I guess I could not face that reality.
But these words of wisdom I'll pass along, hear them loud, and take them strong.
This jimson weed growing wild, in our yards can take you child.
I almost lost both of mine....
Wayne spent 3 day's in ICU, it took him a few months to come back to his old self..
But come Back he did, with no side effects.. !! He sings in a band, we were worried that the tubes they had to put down his throat may cause this to only be a dream.. But no damage was done.. He sings of this experience... Loud..
Joshua came home after 18 hours in the Emergency Room.... shaken scared, very depressed.. about what he had done.. to him self and to me.. we had a hard time sleeping there for a while.. but we made it through, now stronger then ever....
Even now I find myself watching them sleep... and I cry.. but with joy..!
We are some of the lucky ones..... are you willing to take this chance?
Contact your local Dare programs or Law Enforcement's Agencies Emergeancy Rooms and see what they don't know about this killer.... it will shock you..