Yuma, AZ, USA
Okay, now bluebird let me tell you this. You have got a knack for writing. It just needs to be tweaked a little. What I am a saying is this. This poem is real jerky. You didn't keep a constant rhyme scheme with it. You started out with the first two lines rhyming and then you totally changed it with every other two lines rhyming and then sometimes you would just throw in a line that didn't rhyme with anything. Now I know poetry doesn't have to rhyme to be poetry. Once you start rhyming in a poem though you need to maintain that scheme or you most certainly are going to lose your audience's attention. So from now on when you write find a scheme you want to write in and then maintain that. You are a talented poet, no doubt. Just hone your skills.