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devotion

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elvira
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since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


0 posted 07-08-99 01:04 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for elvira



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).]
© Copyright 1999 elvira - All Rights Reserved
Andrew Scott
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since 06-24-99
Posts 2655
Redlands,CA,USA


1 posted 07-08-99 02:07 PM       View Profile for Andrew Scott   Email Andrew Scott   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Andrew Scott

Once again, the faithful servant suffers for a better life that isn't hers. Do detect a theme? Well done, my lady.
Thanks for looking in on "A Soldier's Life," perhaps "Debut" would be more to your taste.
elvira
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since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


2 posted 07-08-99 02:50 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).]
elvira
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since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


3 posted 07-09-99 08:14 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).]
Balladeer
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since 06-05-99
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA


4 posted 07-09-99 09:39 PM       View Profile for Balladeer   Email Balladeer   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Balladeer's Home Page   View IP for Balladeer

No, Elvira. Your poems are in the right forum. Don't you dare leave this forum!! I'll hunt you down and demand more!!!!!!
Aly
Junior Member
since 07-01-99
Posts 37


5 posted 07-09-99 09:42 PM       View Profile for Aly   Email Aly   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Aly

I like it, very strong! It seemed like it needed to be finished though. I thinku should write more!


p.s.that's just my opinion
elvira
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since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


6 posted 07-09-99 10:04 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).]
elvira
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since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


7 posted 07-09-99 10:10 PM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).]
CastleHoward
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since 07-12-99
Posts 20


8 posted 07-27-99 05:06 AM       View Profile for CastleHoward   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for CastleHoward

Disagreeing with Aly, I think it's nicely finished off: the whisper is a nice touch... And, who knows, perhaps the Master really does love that serving wench and just can't admit it... while she adores such worthy attention. You capture those stolen moments of love and admiration nicely, elvira
elvira
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since 07-06-99
Posts 985
California


9 posted 07-27-99 06:57 AM       View Profile for elvira   Email elvira   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for elvira



[This message has been edited by elvira (edited 08-22-99).]
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