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And The Hourglass Turns
| Open Poetry #1 |
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And The Hourglass Turns |
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Emmy Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 194KY |
Each tiny grain of sand Marking the passage of time One by one One by one They slowly fall A breath, a grain of sand A sigh, a grain of sand A sob, a grain of sand A laugh, a grain of sand A moan, a grain of sand A smile, a grain of sand A tear, a grain of sand And then... A skipped heartbeat... A moments pause... And the hourglass turns |
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| © Copyright 1999 Emmy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poetwheel Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 208Canada |
I like it Emmy! Very cool... To me, you didn't end it which I think is great, being a poem on time... Keep it up. PW ------------------ Poetic Wheelbarrow |
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Aly Junior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 35 |
Hey girl! That wuz cool! I mean u could've done it another way, but it wouldn't of been right. Get my drift?  |
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Emmy Member
since 1999-06-29
Posts 194KY |
Thank you for your replies; they were very encouraging because I rarely ever write free verse poetry. But this poem came to me a while ago and I knew that I needed to write it. I'm such a structured person that sometimes it's hard to let go of rhythm and rhyme! I try though, and it's nice to hear people's comments when I do. |
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Andrew Scott Member Elite
since 1999-06-24
Posts 2558Redlands,CA,USA |
Very nicely done. I liked the pace. As for free verse, I've yet to do it myself. Thanks for looking in on "Lady Death" |
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mia Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 118 |
I love it... It was a succeded attempt at free verse. You've captured the second, the moment... Bravo! (sorry about the mispelled words... English is not my first language and I'm actually just getting acquainted with a computer!!!) I would love to read more... Would you please comment on "ocean blue"? I tried to rhyme but somwething just isn't right...Anyways, I'll be awaiting your comments... tks. mia [This message has been edited by mia (edited 07-08-99).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
And how fast the hourglass turns. Well done. ------------------ Sunshine Words will always express our feelings true. KRJ |
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blueloon Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 161NY |
i really liked your concept of time. the ending was great because it left me wondering if the hourglass turned due to a death or a change of season. blueloon |
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