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Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794


0 posted 1999-07-05 09:42 PM


Seeking respite from the night
No more to dance in pain's delight
She builds a fortress in her soul
So o'er the night she has control
Within her walls her heart does hide
Begone the pain, she has decried
So now she sings her sad laments
No way to breech her battlements.

I sing to her love's madrigal
Her beauty does my heart enthrall
I come to her in still of night
As moth to flame, yearn love's delight
I touch upon her satin skin
Seeking out her heart within
You are my love, to her decree
I ask her hand on bended knee.

I build a fortress in my soul
So o'er the night, I have control.



© Copyright 1999 Tim - All Rights Reserved
DreamEvil
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396

1 posted 1999-07-05 09:59 PM


Fantastic slice of Darkness, beautifully soulful.

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I am not responsible for how you choose to interpret what I say.



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 1999-07-05 10:01 PM


After awhile, it's hard to know what to say when a truly great poem is posted. For this poem, I'm speechless. Beyond great!

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 1999-07-05 10:35 PM


I agree. Brilliant, Tim!
Enrique
Member
since 1999-07-04
Posts 52
San Juan, PR
4 posted 1999-07-06 12:19 PM


Nicely done.
Lil Angel
Junior Member
since 1999-07-03
Posts 21

5 posted 1999-07-06 12:27 PM


wow....wow is all I have to say...that was excellently done...
thursdayschild
Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 169
Houston, Tx.
6 posted 1999-07-06 02:33 AM


Impressive. Wonderful
use of rhyme. Lovely and lyrical work.

azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
7 posted 1999-07-06 02:37 AM


Sigh and be still...your words have said enough. I thank you for allowing me the journey.

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Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
8 posted 1999-07-06 08:36 AM


wonderful rythym and rhyme.
great peom

Tim
Senior Member
since 1999-06-08
Posts 1794

9 posted 1999-07-06 03:50 PM


Thank you all for your very gracious comments.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 1999-07-06 04:59 PM


Well done.

------------------
Sunshine

Words will always express our feelings true


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
11 posted 1999-07-06 08:55 PM


I think I should start submitting my poems to you for critique....


[This message has been edited by Nan (edited 07-06-99).]

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